husband issues - need advice!

Posts: 17524
6/20/11 3:15 P

All I can offer is what I would do and before I broke things off with my husband, I would be sure that he was where he should be medically. Even a slight imbalance could cause him to make different choices and speak differently than how he might when everything is at the right baseline. I would want to be sure he was making the choices with how he was dealing with me and my family that I was wanting to hold him accountable for and that they weren't the cause of things he couldn't control.

This website contains a variety of resources that can be used to help you find mental health treatment services, including affordable treatment for those without insurance, in your community if you should want to go that route.

Mental Health America

Tanya

Posts: 375
6/20/11 10:55 A

Yes, he's been a stay at home dad since school let out for the summer. My husband is not on any medication for his issues. We can't afford to go to the dr, and the medicines are expensive. I tried to get help at a local wellness center at a church here, but we make too much money. haha. He had been doing well, every so often he will get upset more than needed over something but really not causing too much trouble. When I left him before, though, he was crossing a line with me and my oldest, a line he is getting really close to now. I know he means well, but that's just not good enough. I was never good at making life changing decisions, and I didn't want to make one about him, but I may just have to.

Posts: 17524
6/20/11 10:17 A

It sounds as if he stays home with the children and you work, is that right? Repeatedly saying things that you wouldn't expect does throw a flag for me. If one of my teens kept telling me they never steal I would be concerned because I wouldn't expect them to steal nor need to reinforce that they don't so it would make me wonder if their conscience was getting to them.

With your husband I would also wonder if he is taking meds correctly, if they need to be adjusted etc.

Tanya

Posts: 375
6/20/11 9:43 A

Ok so my husband has bipolar disorder. He has childhood ptsd and does not have a normal childhood to relate to our children. My oldest, almost 16, is not his. He does not treat him the same, lets him know frequently he does not want him to turn out like his father.

Lately, he has been telling me how faithful he is to me, and reminding me how he does not do meth anymore, which he used to do once in a while. In an argument, where he did not want to tell me where he was at a certain time, I found out he had snorted a line at a friend's house.

He is also being a jerk to my oldest son, granted my son has made a bad decision, tricked us about something, now my husband tells him he doesn't care about him and junk.

I left him once a few months back, actually he left so I wouldn't have to pack up four people. But it was MY choice for us to split. He came back three days later, even though I did not really want him to.

Anyway, if he's lying about the meth, doesn't that mean he's probably lying about the other? He tells me that junk all the time. "I'm faithful to you... and I don't do meth anymore..." I've never found out he's cheated on me in the 13 years we've been together, but I have wondered a few times.

I don't really know what to do. Other than those things, he is pretty decent. He makes me lunch when I come home from work, puts supper on the table almost every night.

Anyway, thanks for listening. I know you guys can't tell me what to do, but does this sound like the beginning of the end or what? I know that something has to change, but I'm not sure what.