Back again:(

Posts: 1035
7/1/12 10:56 A

I am so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine what you are going through.
I'm here if you want to talk or vent.

Posts: 2454
6/30/12 5:06 P

Thank you all. I am going to try to lose weight and actively TTC after my 3 cycle. We aren't going to prevent in the beginning, so if it happens it happens, but I really at least want to lose like 20 pounds.

Man, I miss him so much. What sucks the most is that, even though I know I will be happy to get pregnant, it won't bring back Caden. He will always be gone and even a new pregnancy can't heal that pain completely, though it will help.

Edited by: LDTEACHER at: 6/30/2012 (17:09)

Posts: 84
6/27/12 5:33 P

I can't even imagine how you feel right now. I hope you can get a BFP soon because I know it will help with the healing.

Posts: 1217
6/27/12 4:52 P

My heart is breaking for you! I can't imagine your fear and pain right now. I hope that you are able to get pregnant with a healthy little one soon! I'm so sorry for your loss!

Domina93 - 3 losses in 2 years must be incredibly difficult! I'm so sorry!

Posts: 475
6/27/12 3:18 P

I am so sorry for your loss! I can understand it was the worst day of your life.

There isn't much to say, but I never thought I would be here again. My last m/c in Apr has made me think that hope is gone. 3 losses in 2 years has been hard.

Hugs to you! We are here for listening.

Posts: 2454
6/27/12 12:41 P

Well, I didn't think I would ever be back here again. My little Caden was going to be our last little boy, rounding out our family of 5.

At 35 weeks on May 14th, I was getting the house organized and preparing for his arrival. Then I started noticing decreased movement. I went to my midwife three days in row, 2 ultrasounds and 3 hb checks later, my precious little boy's heart stopped beating.

I was induced with very high doses of pitocin, but delivered naturally without pain medication. It was the worst day of my life. I was in utter disbelief and my heart was broken.

I would later find out that he had Trisomy 21 and had some heart defects.

So...even though I still miss my son, I know that we want to try again. Because of my age, I know that we are going to actively try after my second AF. I just got my first.

Honestly, I had thought that I finally had the whole TTC thing behind me. I think I feel the need to be pregnant before I get the holidays that I was pregnant with Caden.

Having had and early loss and stillbirth, the joy of pregnancy has been replaced by fear, as there is now no safe period until baby is in arms.