Yes, we went climbing last night and yes, it was awesome! We have been going pretty regularly, at least once a week for a few weeks now and it has been great. I have done my best to not be frustrated by my lower level abilities, and at the same time, I am challenging myself to try routes I wouldn't do - and I wasn't able to do a few moves - and I don't blame baby and me being at least 20 pounds more than I was when I used to climb, ha, I blame being too short! I hope baby gets daddy's height! Anyways, it felt great to work hard and to sweat and to huff and puff and give it my all - and to fail, but be all right with it. I tried a hard route at the end of the day - and i knew it was going to be tough since my arms and hands were killing me already...but I gave it a whirl and made it so far - so close to the top, but not quite. And I tried hard - I tried again and again - and the best part, I was all right with failing. I knew I couldn't hold on anymore, I knew my hands were done and I wasn't upset - phew - such a sign of relief! I mean, sure it is great that I get to keep climbing, but it is tough to be going backwards. But I was all right with it - and that was all after an emotional day! I forgot how much a great sweat can clear me up and put me in the right place.
I had a rough day - I was out of town missing my hubby for a few days - work was annoying and it was one of those toss in the towel days. And then my husband (who has been great - even if I don't tell him enough - thanks love!) came in with a package I ordered of cute baby clothes and he had me open it..and we looked through the silly little raccon pjs and monkey outfits and I felt so much better, just happy and content with things - knowing nothing I was upset about really mattered all that much - just little baby and me and him, and the doggie mattered and it was great. Then he got to feel the baby kick - he kept telling me he didn't believe it was baby and thought it was me doing it, but he felt him move - and that made me so happy. Even though I have had a hard time with chaging my life, getting as giant as a house, wanting to eat everything in sight, I get to feel the baby move inside of me - and everyone who said it was right - that is the most amazing thing ever - so crazy and wild and amazing all at the same time. Just so great.
And then we went climbing and on the way chatted about money, which always upsets me. I just hate that I have to get upset and worry about money, it makes me crazy, makes me want to just throw in the towel and quit. And I get upset about it, I get mad and crabby and don't like to talk about it. I know it needs to get figured out, what we will do with the baby when I go back to work, all the same stuff everyone needs to figure out. And I try to talk about it in a calm manner, however, even when I am calm I know I have a crappy tone. So, I was mad, I was mad with no real reason, I should be able to be an adult and have this conversation without being mad, I guess I just don't think money will make us/me/baby more happy. And I know in a way, that isn't true - I know that if we didnt' have to worry about money, there would be less stress...so I work to manage our money, and I work to make sure we have savings and that we have bills paid on time and such. And I plan on keep working on this, keeping things in line and keep things on track to keep saving money and having money put aside to spend on things. And I think if I do that, I think I will keep feeling better about the money and I think I can put Sean's fears to rest about money, about not making enough money and such. I think we can make it and make it work and be happy and still have money to do fun things - they might just be different things. We never were big spenders - well, sometimes Sean is....but at the end of the day, I know we will be happy no matter what, because we all have each other - and that is what matters. I don't grow up in a house were we got everything we wanted, and I don't care about that. I care about the happy and loving home we can and will provide for our baby and our new family - that is what matters - see it is all so clear when your arms and hands are sore for an awesome work out - time to keep up the working out and the sweating and the eating right - and the positive thinking!
Member Comments About this Blog Entry
"Thats great you have come to be a peace with what you are able to do now as opposed to before. And it's true money isn't everything you'll get it all figured out. Somehow you'll make it work and honestly as long as your kid has everything they need and are loved a happy at the end of the day missing that vacation every now and then or having to wait to buy something bigger or whatever just doesn't seem that bad. You have the right attitude,just keep that up and before you know it you'll be able ..." -- JACKIE2002
BabyFit, BabyPoints, BabyPages and other marks are trademarks of SparkPeople, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
BABYFIT is a registered trademark of SparkPeople, Inc. in the United States, European Union, Canada, and Australia. All rights reserved.