i was really looking for a place to make a journal type entry...i can't find one, so i'm just going to post here. Hopefully no one that reads it will be too judgemental.
here i am. pregnant with baby number two. i decided halfway through (literally i'm 19 weeks) to go with a midwife instead of hospital birth. So last night, the first "real" visit...she gives me a paper and we have a discussion of foods I can eat and can't and should. so this week i have to write down everything I eat and then they will critique it. Also, they told me a minimum of 30 minutes exercise every day. 30 doesn't seem like that much compared to what I used to do. This is what motivates me, when someone else critiques (that is, not the nagging of helpful friends/family) but this business arrangement. So i've already gained 16 pounds since my first appointment!!! Not to mention the oh, about 15 or so that I gained before i ever got pregnant!!! But i feel like if I follow the eating plan and working out..things I know how to do and i know I should be doing anyway...maybe I won't gain anymore weight. that sounds bad. it's just that I am already currently 31 pounds over WHAT I WAS IN DECEMBER!! i'm afraid that as i get older it is going to get harder to get rid of the weight each time. And I know that i need to be a good example for my daughters (that's right, DAUGHTERS!!! We're having another girl, i am so so excited). And my DH, well he wants to get into a healthier lifestyle too. i think we're very much alike in this aspect. we like sports, being outside, etc, want to be in shape and healthy but have a hard time sticking to it.So here goes. i'll have to start writing down everything so i can email it on Friday.
one more thing...i know this is petty, and selfish but i have some really sh!tty family members and "friends". They can't even say congratulations, yet they can gossip about it to other people, and then come to ask to borrow stuff (literally had this conversation on the phone: "guess what, i'm pregnant and we're having another girl" "um, hey do you have this certain type of outdoor gear that I can borrow from you" ) then people congratulate my brother on his "engagement" and totally ignore when i say i'm pregnant (here I want to add my brother gets "engaged" to any girl he dates over a month, and btw this particular girl is married to someone and currently has no plans to divorce him). I know. I'm jealous. Is it to much to ask for someone to make a big deal about me once in a while???
Maybe I better go exercise like i'm supposed to, and quit whining about stuff. Why do i even care about people who clearly are not excited about anything in my life? I do wish I had more friends, especially friends that live close by.
7.28.2012
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