Accepting and embracing

Accepting and embracing blog

So, I think I finally realized why it was so hard for me to buy any maternity clothes the other day - it was like going shopping on a fat day, when the things that are supposed to fit, don't, and then the things you think should be big fit. But I am forgetting something, I am not getting fat (well, I might be getting a litle bigger), I am getting a baby. And I think I have tried to hide it Not because I am ashamed of it, but moreso becasue I haven't felt like I looked or felt pregnant. So, I was wearing my regular clothes and just trying to make it work, not hide the baby, but not show off my bump.

And I think I figured out why. Attention - as soon as you show that bump, you are the recipient of all kinds of attention - congrats, are you going to find out what you are having, how far along are you, are you going to go back to work, how long will you take off, etc, etc, etc. And sometimes I prefer to hide from attention. A neighbor said congrats to me and before he could finish, I was changing the subject and asking him about vacation. I know I should relish this time to be the center of attention, but it isn't something I am used to. I guess in a way, I am a speak softly and act loudly kind of person. And well, talking about all these things doesn't really do anything for me.

I had a friend who seemed upset because I wasn't talking about my birthplan or things as much as I was with ohter people. Thankfully I didn't really care, but I am not the person that is going to go on and on about me, I just never have been like that. Maybe it's hiding and not being overly confident, but to me, it is just not being cocky. LIke I said, I like quietly (which is funny when you know how loud I am), but I like to act.

Anyways, for me, showing off my bump meant talking - A LOT! And I like texting, ha! It means I will have to answer all kinds of questions, which is fine, not a bad thing, but while I am still figuring it all out, it can be a bit much. So, I tend to shift the focus to something else, or someone else. And I am going to work on that, I am going to talk about it more - and I am going to answer more questions. I don't think I will change and just start bragging about me and my bump...I like to be asking things, but I will be more open about it.

I will show off my bump and not try and hide it (although I feel it has gotten HUGE over the last few days!). The more it shows, the more excited I get about it all, still strange - this little thing growing inside of me - and sometimes I think I feel it move - although it is hard to tell the difference between that and a stomach gurgle these days. But all the signs are coming together - I got out and ran a few times, my exercise is getting back on track and my eating is kicking butt! So, the plan is the keep all that rolling, even as I roll along and feel like I roll myself out of bed - I am still rolling in a good way. I am working on remaining calm and accepted all that is happening to me and showing off that litlte bump with pride!
7.11.2012

Member Comments About this Blog Entry

	"I have the same issue when it comes to work I tend to like to keep my personal life personal and am bothered by everything changing to my belly than to the work at hand Beside my partner none of the others i work with interact with me outside of work and my partner it is only because our kids share the same interest in the same activities and there are a few who i do see outside of work but they no longer work with us so they don't count lol. At home i have no issue talking with friends and fami..." -- JACKIE2002