Duh, like that isn't obvious that vacations are a great way to escape, get away and forget about reality. But I think vacation was a little different for me this year. This year, I think I found more of myself as a person and as the mother i want to become than I ever imagined! Each year, we go with my husband's family to a lake up in Wisconsin. His dad has 3 sail boats, his brother and him windsurf, we bring our motorboat and kayak and it just a week to play in the water, hang out and have fun. I was a little worried this year, about what I was going to be able to do and not do. I talked with my husband for quite some time and even talked with his dad about if certain things while sailing - trapezing, specifically (which is hanging off the side of the catamaran while it tips to go faster - once I get the video, I will post the link). Anyways, this has been a favorite of mine since I did it first 3 or 4 years ago. I love it, it makes me scream and giggle and laugh with pure delight. It allows me to feel like I am floating and soaring over the water. So, going into the trip, I was worried, maybe this wouldn't be best, maybe I shouldn't do this, maybe it will not be good for baby.
My husband agreed that once we find a harness that will work, it shouldn't be a problem. I was still a little worried, so I asked him dad and was happy to find out that my husband's mom did the same thing I wanted to do while she was 7 months pregnant - with my husband! So, that put me at ease, but I was still a little nervous, what if I fall, what if the boat tips, was it worth it. Well, my husband, who was captaining the boat, promised to take it easy until I felt comfortable....and it was great! I felt light and at ease and giggled and laughed and screamed so the whole lake could here.
And then it happened, one of the lines broke as I was scooting out over the edge. But not to worry, i landed like a cannonball and was barely 6 inches from the water, it was hilarious! And even better, it was caught on video! So, the joke became that I broke the rope - the rope from 1977 with my 1000 ton butt! And the best part, I laughed about it. i didn't cry, I didn't get upset that I was being made fun of, I LAUGHED!
And not only then, I laughed to myself when I thought I got a look of disapproval when I sipped a cold beer. I laughed when I took a small fall wake boarding - nothing which was on my stomach. I laughed when my husband's dad kept calling me a baby hider since it didn't look like I had a baby, and I laughed when I started to question if I should cover up my belly. Instead I showed it off, i wore my new bikini like I was the hottest thing at the lake - and it wasn't like I was looking at anyone else, I just decided to feel amazing. I decided to laugh about and insecurities, I decided to laugh about it all.
And what did all that mean, I had an amazing time, I felt like myself, I got to do all the things i wanted to do, even sail a smaller boat by myself, flip it over and right it again. I did it, and man, am I beat from the trip - 6 days of amazing sun and wind meant no rest for me and baby, but I didn't care, I got to forget about being judged, i got to forget about feeling fat and out of shape and I got to feel awesome - and like I could float on water - I mean, that is always great, but when you are feeling a bit like a cow, it is AMAZING! I think it was almost like I forgot about being pregnant, I got to do all that things I wanted to do, sure, I might have had quite a few more beers, but not having them wasn't even a big deal. I got to just have fun and forget about all the worries and thoughts going on.
Of course, I am back to reality, and am excited to go the doctor on Wednesday, and almost a bit nervous, I want to know that baby is all right and while I don't think anything I did would have done any damage to the baby, it will just be a nice thing to hear the baby's heartbeat - yay, I am excited to hear the baby's heart beat!
But for now, no worrying, now I will just take with me the feelings I have from last week and keep them with me. it was great, there were a few times were I took moments to soak it in, to meditate, to store how I was feeling so that when I get down and come off this high, I can go back and remember how great it was to be where I was - physically, mentally and emotionally. it feels good to be in a great place and feels even better to laugh - so, the next time I feel a freakout coming, it's time to laugh, mommy and baby don't need any stress over the next few months!
It just reminds me how important the saying is - happy mommy means happy baby - so let's all do our best to remember that and be happy - for the sake of the little avacado's inside of us!
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"That's great you got some time away and enjoyed yourself. we all need that from time to time." -- JACKIE2002
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