If you've ever been there, it's beautiful. It's a magestic scene. It makes you feel alive and more peaceful than you could imagine. Taking transportation up the mountains is serene, then you hop off and walk around the top of a peak. If you've hiked any in the San Juan Mountains (and are not really a hiker....that would be me) you have a totally different perspective. It's beautiful but you're cursing and willing your body to JUST.KEEP.MOVING.....and don't die. :)
I feel like pregnancy is like the San Juan range. If you're looking at it, it looks lovely, vibrant, an amazing experience to behold, and one you are eager to participate in. Then all the sudden you're in the middle of it, exhausted, nauseated, willing yourself to make it to 8pm when you can collapse and do it over again.
The range itself is like the emotional highs and lows that never seem to flippin' level out. Why exactly am I crying right now? Good question, who the heck knows? Why does the fact that I am in double digit days (99 today) make me want to curl up and sleep and not deal with the pleathora of things to accomplish? Why do I get so agitated when I'm tired? Which leads to a lot of what if questions for the coming months, delivery, life with an infant. Good grief!
Maintaining sanity is all about narrowing your perspective and not thinking about 3 months, 5 months, 6 months down the road, but today. Not staring at the top of the mountain, but what is within your reach. What you can smell and touch. What the experience of this day brings, and when we do that we just might be able to enjoy, as opposed to endure, the beauty of each moment.
6.13.2012
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