Waiting to TTC is excruciating

Waiting to TTC is excruciating blog

Well its been a little over a week since my DH and I agreed to postpone TTC and its been excruciatingly emotionally painful. All I have ever wanted was to be married and have children. Not TTC is so hard and depressing to go through every day. I love my husband and I know that postponing having children is the right thing to do from a financial sense but I just can't let the thought of waiting go. I don't know how much waiting I can take. I'm trying to do the right thing by not telling my husband how hard this is on me but I just can't seem to keep all these emotions and thoughts inside. My yearnings to have a child is so strong I can barely think of anything else in life. The fact that my best friend is 4.5 months pregnant really isn't helping things either. She is so excited. I am so happy for her but I'm also jealous that she is so happy and gets to go through the joy of having a baby. I would never let her know how much her happiness hurts me because that's selfish of my and not the right thing to do. So I always ask her how her pregnancy is going, visit her, talk about the baby and her plans with for the future being a mom because I want to be a good friend like I'm sure she will be for me when my time finally comes. But doing this for her is so excruciatingly painful. I'm even crying right now writing about how painful this is to me. I know my time will come but its so hard right now. I really hope things get better for us so we can TTC. I don't know how much longer I can wait feeling this way.
1.29.2012

Member Comments About this Blog Entry

	"Thanks so much for the kind words, support and tips. Its a really complicated situation. My husband just finished 8 years of school and has been unemployed and looking for a job since September. We bought a new hours (was living in a house his parent owned before then) and I have been supporting both of us since October. I can barely afford all our bills and expenses on my own so we have been dipping in to our savings a bit every month. My husband is extremely angry/frustration/depressed abo..." -- AMANDA_JK

	"I know it's so hard to figure out things, especially when our heart is yearning for something. It sounds like this is a conclusion that you and your husband has come to together; so I would encourage you to talk to your husband about these emotions that you're feeling. He needs to be your greatest support an advocate in this and he may not realize how hard it is on a woman with this sort of decision. Maybe you and him can sit down and talk it out and come up with a goal date, something like "..." -- MOMMYELKES