 In December of last year (2009) my 17 year old brother-in-law killed himself. It was so devastating to everyone, even to people who had never met him. We don't know what was going on in his head to make him believe that he had no other way out, although we have some ideas. Really, though, I don't know if it would make a difference if we knew exactly why he made that choice. For the most part I have done ok with dealing with this tragedy. I have definately had my downs but I can focus on my postive memories and my hope to see him living again in the paradise earth that the bible promises (Psalms 37 & Revelation 21). But, every now and then I just hurt in my heart so bad I can't breathe. My husband and I have decided that if we have a son, we will name him Benjamin Tyler for CLinton, Clinton's middle name was Tyler as well. Since we have made that decision, I have been thinking about him even more than usual and each day the pain has gotten a little stronger. I know that 'this too shall pass' as my mother and I say to each other frequently, but I needed a place to vent my feelings a little. So to the great void that is the internet, I will shout "I MISS YOU CLINTON! I can't wait to see you and for you to meet your nephew or neice to be."
8.4.2010
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