| Numbers Are The Enemy ... blog |
I battled hard last night. I was fighting the menstrual-cycle munchies. Knowing the cheesecake-filled fudge cupcakes were sitting on the dining room table was too much to handle. I was craving the sweetness, the moistness, and the creaminess that every bite of the cupcake would offer me. So instead, I had a banana. Didn't help. I had a huge Wendy's cup of water. No help. So I got up and went for a long walk with my boys. Somewhat helped, until we got home and Derek announced he had the munchies.
So I fought off the craving all night, stayed within my calories for the day, woke up this morning SO proud of myself ... stepped on the scale ... I GAINED FRIGGIN WEIGHT?!
It was only like, 0.4 higher than yesterday's weigh-in, but it still stung. If I'd have known I was going to put on weight, I would have had the freaking cupcake!!
Nahh .. I guess I'm happy I didn't give in. I may have put on more weight had I eaten it. So at the end of the day, I'm pretty proud of myself for not giving in to the temptation, and as each day goes by, I know / hope it'll get easier!
Thing is, though ... the numbers on the scale? I hate them. Cuz I was looking at myself in the mirror this morning, thinking that hey, I think I can see that I have lost a little weight ... and then as soon as I stepped on the scale, saw that I didn't lose weight and in fact gained it, I saw myself in the mirror again and was suddenly able to SEE that 0.4 pound on me.
Lesson of the day: Don't let the scale tell me if I've lost weight or not! Let my body tell me!
For all I know, that 0.4 was just water retention from my monthly visitor, or my milk was kinda weighing down my breasts since Austin still hasn't had any milk this morning / overnight ..
But yes. Numbers are the enemy. They take down my self-esteem, make me see curves that aren't really there, and make me discouraged. So I'll weigh myself for my Babyfit tracker, but that'll be it. I won't let the numbers break my motivation to get back into shape and be healthier!!
So scale ...? I'm not afraid of you!! Bring it ON!!!
3.9.2010
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