QUANTE's Blog
Sunday, May 26, 2013

Per doctor's orders, I am starting to journal about my feelings dealing with this postpartum depression. I am frustrated because, everything I read about getting help says that it is treatable, and recoverable, but I've only been treated with medication, and it feels like I will have to stay on this medication to stay evened out. I do feel good though. I haven't felt this good in a long time. I feel like I can do so much more than I did before. Though I am still sleep deprived, I'm not so depressed that I am not motivated to do common things. I'm glad I feel better, but I don't want to have to stay on the medication. I don't know well see how things go.
3.3.2008

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I really hope she is a she. I really didn't have a prefenece before, well, no, I did want a girl so we could have one of each, but I didn't care if it was a boy. But now that the ultrasound tech said it's a girl, I have been so excited. I have my mind set on it being a girl, and if it turns out to be a boy, I know that I will be disappointed, and I really hate that I feel that way. But anyway. The only reason I even have any doubts is because my mother in law wants another boy. She kept asking, "how do you know for sure?"
11.7.2007

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Life is good. I am so excited to be so close to the end of this pregnancy. I can't wait to meet her. I can't wait to get our lives use to the demands of welcoming a new life. Everyone is going to go crazy when they meet her.
11.7.2007

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I am concerned about having a VBAC. I really want to deliver vaginally, but it scares me to know that my cesarean scar may rupture if we are not careful. It would be so much better for us, financially to deliver vaginally, and I think it would be a much better experience for me. From conception to delivery there is a plan. Our bodies go through drastic changes to prepare us for that delivery. When I had to have the cesarean, I kinda felt ripped of. Like all that anticipation was for nothing. Of course it wasn't for nothing, I have my wonderful son, but I feel like delivering vaginally would have been a true testiment of my strength.
11.3.2007

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