My Birth Center is going to court about a case where a little boy died. There is so much going on, I don't know if I should jump ship, but to where? Or should I stay with the best thing there was when I had Jacob. I wish this was easy.
3.25.2012
Member Comments About this Blog Entry
There are currently no comments on this blog entry
I don't know where to go from here. Jacob is getting up more at night now and I am feeling all alone in this. Dh just sleeps on the couch all the time. I give him Jacob at 7 so I can go back to sleep I know I am doing a dangerous thing by giving him Jacob because I know he's not awake and is going to fall right back asleep when I leave the room but I can't take not getting any sleep. It's been every night for more than a week now. I have the kids all day and all night. Most families don't know how good they have it with a spouse that is home by 5 to help with bed time and through the night I feel like I do it all starting the breakfast all the way til the next morning.
I tried to let Jacob cry it out tonight. I couldn't even do that. I don't know how I am going to get through this. I want to cry and throw things beg my dh to help me support me. not make fun of the fact that i need to sleep in. Put his plate in the dish washer instead of the sink cause he has 2 hands to my 1.
I don't want to nit pick I don't want to play who does more I want to feel supported and loved. Not like a mom with 3 kids doing it on her own.
4.2.2011
Member Comments About this Blog Entry
There are currently no comments on this blog entry
I can't take much more! I don't what to do no one has any answers and I am tired of feeling like 1 parent against 2 kids. Tyler didn't want to listen at the store than didn't take a nap. I so want to give him away until he's older. I can't take more of the screeching instead of words to get his way. We don't spank but i am at my wall here!dxcwrgthukjh gfghjklkjhg chkjljhc kjhg
I just had a break from them last Friday but paid for it with more laundry, dishes and no help. Wasn't worth it!
3.29.2011
Member Comments About this Blog Entry
There are currently no comments on this blog entry
So far I have...reran the dishwasher(I melted a plastic lid on the heating element last night), started a load of diapers, put away dishes, fed breakfast and made sure I sent out emails via fb. And Jacob is down for his first nap and both loads of laundry from yesterday are folded and put away. There is so much to do still but I felt I had to write down what I have already down this morning.
1.4.2011
Member Comments About this Blog Entry
There are currently no comments on this blog entry
Everyone's sleeping why can't I? sigh...So far today I decorated the Christmas tree, put away and vacuumed the living room and bedrooms. Three loads of wash folded and another three to be folded. Cleaned the bathroom gave it have my effort. Messed with my brother's mp3 player. Made lunch and boxed up the brownies for Advent dinner tonight. I even repacked the diaper bag for service.
I still need to figure out what I am going to wear for a shirt tonight and write out my check. I should check the Penney's receipt and make a payment with moms account before she thinks she has a lot more money than she really has.
12.15.2010
Member Comments About this Blog Entry
There are currently no comments on this blog entry
I almost cried in the store today. I think it had to do with hormones. I was so depressed that I can't go hog wild with the first Christmas Tyler will enjoy. My mother in law has her heart in the right place but she can't seem to notice that she is going over board with her gifts. Chris and I are only getting Tyler one toy, a stuffed chair of his own and some more books. We can't get him anything else because we don't have the room in our house. We are not like my brother in law who's son has three places he stays at. My own mother even has to limit what she gets him because she knows that we don't have the space and that Tyler just wants to know he's loved not have all the latest stuff. I hated the look on my moms face when I told her that my Mother in law already got him a pair of boots. My mother in law was going to get him one of those leapsters things because my brother in law bought one for his son. Chris told her no that we didn't need it. He went on to ask her not to buy him anything else that took batteries. You should see the pile of batteries I have to the recycling center. And the toys that go on their own are not his favorite. The toys that he plays with mom and dad are. I wish there was a nice way to ask her to stop but I can't hold her back if this is what makes her happy. *I just wish I could return it all for his college fund. If he's anything like his uncle or mom it wouldn't just be four straight years. hehehe* My kids are going to have four Christmas. I know it's going to be like last year where the 'stuff' sits around until I can figure out what to do with it. Dear Santa all this momma wants for Christmas is a bigger house. I was so happy to hear that Chris is just as fed up with his moms over doing it as much as I am. I wish she would just make more time for her grandkids rather than give them more stuff.
On a better note Chris and I are getting along better. I talked(text) my brother about the whole thing. I figured I would get a guys point of view and keep my brother in the loop. He had a lot of good ideas and really showed me that I was going at Chris the WRONG way. The way I was speaking to him was not cool. My brother told me he would have left a long time ago if I had talked to him like that. He really opened my eyes about the whole thing. Now I try not to let things bother me and try not to get so bitchy to Chris. He's right he will never know how I am feeling not getting any sleep. Just as long as he helps out when I can't do anymore. He did last night after he got home from work. Took Jacob and told me to get some sleep. Four whole hours really helped.
12.7.2010
Member Comments About this Blog Entry
There are currently no comments on this blog entry
Jacob woke up at 5 almost screaming in pain. I checked the injection sites for his shots, the one in his left leg was red and sore. I finally gave in, giving him Tylenol at 5:35 and he fell asleep about 6pm. Now I am wondering what kind of night I am in for by myself.
I have to suck it up a realize that Chris wanted kids but not to be bothered with them. He will play Tyler and give him a bath but that is as far as his help goes. He will not help unless asked, he would like me to remember everything for him along with working on the inside and outside of what I thought was our house. I don't feel love towards him most of the time. Spend most of my day cleaning or doing for him. So he can turn and want people to feel sorry for him because he worked 36 hours in 3 days. He doesn't seem to tell anyone about his family just how hard he works. But he's not working hard enough to pay all the bills so I have to go back to work next month. I don't want to leave my new born son with him. Or Tyler for that matter. Will he let him get away with murder? Will he remember to feed Jacob or just stick the pacifier in his mouth to quite him down. I let Tyler watch movies tonight because I didn't get a nap and Chris did. And I was trying to deal with dinner and take care to Jacob. His crying really upset me I didn't want to have to give him Tylenol. So here it is 8pm Tyler hasn't got a bath and Jacob just woke up. I feel like a could just crawl into bed a sleep for days but I get no help unless I ask and remind just like I do Tyler.
I feel like I am trying to do too much and in the process sucking at everything. I dump in my mom's lamp so much I know she expects it now. I want to cry but I can't. I have too much that I need to do and more that I want to do. I have built up this wall trying not to feel and made Chris put one up too. He just ignores me now when I want him to change. He doesn't want to hear or do anything different. I hate to say this but I am still here because I have not place to go and the kids need their shitty father.
11.30.2010
Member Comments About this Blog Entry
There are currently no comments on this blog entry
More time for Tyler. I feel like I run nonstop all day and only rest while Tyler is sleeping. But I don't think Tyler gets enough play time. I mean today.
7:30 we get up and eat breakfast
8:30 cleaned up living room and vacuumed
9:30 shower for me
10:30 went for a walk with Bender
11:30 start making lunch
12:45 on our way to visit with DH
2:20 run to the insurance office, store and bank
3:15 nap
When he gets up from his nap we are headed up to MIL so she can watch him while we go to our birthing class.
Just feel like I have way too much to do and only can get it down while Tyler is awake. I would love to have time to spend with him each day. But I seem to run out of day. It's going to get harder once the new baby is here. I need to work starter not harder, I just wish I knew how to do that when my brain doesn't seem to want to work right.
Well time to go wake Tyler up so we can head up. I think putting away dishes will work the best.
8.25.2010
Member Comments About this Blog Entry
There are currently no comments on this blog entry
Patience is what I am working on today. I am alone in the office with a co-worker who make me just want to scream. She is not my boss and was never my boss but this does not stop her from acting like it. There are other things that she does that are just wrong, and she knows it but does them anyways. I wish there was someone else here to buffer her so she didn't focus on me or what I'm doing. Which is none of her business! What a day so far.
I am craving Ravioli really bad for lunch. lol
3.11.2010
Member Comments About this Blog Entry
There are currently no comments on this blog entry
My life seems to be on a better track. I will be making a doctors appointment tomorrow to be put on a different BC. The one that I am on now seems to be taking me on a roller coaster ride that I can't get off of. I am praying she can help with that. I do believe my BC plus stress is what has been making me fight with my DH. Even though I can't stop it yet it is nice to know I am not going crazy.
I have been asking for breaks away from Tyler. Today I got to leave to a couple of hours. It was nice I felt like I came back in a better mood.
I still hear those words that made me so upset but not as often. I am trying to change and work hard on not stressing out. I have been trying to be more open with my dh and not talk forever without getting any where.
12.10.2009
Member Comments About this Blog Entry
There are currently no comments on this blog entry
I think I am falling out of love with my husband. Ever since the fight we has almost a month ago I have been trying not to be 'mean, rude or snappy.' It's really hard since he's doesn't seem to be changing.
Tonight I fed Tyler dinner while he watched TV, after Tyler was done eating I asked him if he would give him a bath. He asked 'don't we give him a bath at eight.' I told him no that he kept getting lost in the TV instead of bathing his son. He kept watching TV until Tyler started acting up. I yelled at him for getting stuck in the TV and he just sat there. I worked today, he didn't, I still worked around the house as well, cleaned out the humidifier, two loads of laundry, plus made sure payments were made.
I am tired of feeling like Tyler and I don't come first in his mind. Last night I asked what he what he was thinking as we were driving home from my friends house. He told me he wished he wasn't so tired and that he wished his xbox still worked. No thought to his family.
I am still hurt over the fight we had. I was all for going to his mom's tomorrow I was the one who made him call her. Now I don't want to. I told him I don't have feelings for him but anger. I don't want to go up there and be 'snappy' like his mom called me.
I think I would have left by now if it hadn't been for Tyler.
11.7.2009
Member Comments About this Blog Entry
"I am so sorry you are feeling this way. My Mom stayed with my Dad for the sake for my brother and I, and all it did was give us a distorted view of what a relationship should be like. Now, I am married to a man that most of our relationship has treated me poorly. Granted, he finally (after 7 years) has started making an effort, but it does not change that it has happened. My brother is dating a girl who is crazy, refuses to work and has anger issues. He takes after my Dad and has poor work ethi..." -- LUVMY2GIRLS1BOY
good news... Tyler slept in his crib last night. He still woke up more than twice but at least he let us put him back in his crib. DH is trying to finish the no cry sleep solution so he can help. I can't stop biting at him in the middle of the night when I am so tired a jealous of the fact that he sleeps through most of it. I hate being so mean, can't he just want to help? I didn't know that I would miss having my side of the bed more than I would miss having Tyler in it with me. It was nice just the two of us last night. I can't wait now until we can move him into his own room. I am so glad that for right now I can say that he is happy sleeping in his own bed knowing that mom will be there if he needs me. I'm going to keep at it until we reach that point. I can't believe he's going to be nine months tomorrow.
Tyler didn't want to go down for a nap this morning but he has been down since noon and it's already 2:30pm so I don't know if his sleep patterns are changing of if this is an off day. I can hear him now I wonder if he will take another nap today? I hope not at 9pm like last night.
6.29.2009
Member Comments About this Blog Entry
There are currently no comments on this blog entry
That time did not work for crying it out either. I guess he had to poop bc he didn't want to go back to sleep. I went to leave to go visit a friend and I had a good one to change. I was happy and sad at the same time. Happy that he pooped but sad I didn't know it and was trying to get him to sleep. Sigh. I wonder if I will ever get this down. He than fell asleep on the way to the store but of course that was short lived since the store was not quite. I felt so bad ruining his routine for naps. He won't take them any where else so maybe I should work on that too. I have so much to work on.
I joined the team for no cry I hope to get some more support there. I was so upset earlier I text my DH to bring the book home so I could beat the crap out of him with it. I wasn't happy about him taking so long to 'help' with Tyler's sleeping problems. I can't wait for when I can remember things again.
I am going to give him two weeks to get used to his crib while getting him in a bed time routine. He has one now it just involves a lot of things that I guess I shouldn't be doing. Like nursing him to sleep. I am praying I can work on this. I feel like such a failure when I think I have been working on this for almost three months.
6.27.2009
Member Comments About this Blog Entry
There are currently no comments on this blog entry
So he's in there crying it out because I can't deal very well right now. I know that he needs a nap and he sounds so tired. I have to try something because I can't go on the way things were. I didn't have any help and I was not getting any rest. I know I'm not supposed to feel like a failure with something that is learn as you go and it different with every child. I can't help feeling like anyone could do it better than me. He's still alive that is the only thing that I have done right. I know it sounds selfish but I hate feeling like I can't go any where.
Well I guess he's not going to take a nap today. I am just so upset. Maybe I should never have had a kid. I never knew I would be doing it on my own.
6.27.2009
Member Comments About this Blog Entry
There are currently no comments on this blog entry
I think I might be getting worse. I was trying to look are information on sleep experts so that I could talk to someone. I was on some website watching videos where there was a child crying in his crib. I just started crying. I don't know if it was frustration or lack of sleep. I thought my hormones were back to normal but I guess I was wrong.
I am going to talk to my biggest supproter my mom today and see what she thinks. I think I might need some outside help. I hate saying this but my DH is no help with this issue. He blames his back is the reason he hasn't put the crib up in our room. He hasn't taken the time to read the book I bought to help with his sleep problems. I feel like my sleep problems are getting in the way to for me too.
6.26.2009
Member Comments About this Blog Entry
There are currently no comments on this blog entry
I am having another one of those days where I don't know what to do.
Tyler I don't think is eating enough during the day which is making him eat three times between 12:30 and 6:30 in the morning. I am so tired when he wakes up I don't even know if he's hungry anymore I just feed him because I know it's the fastest way to get him back to sleep. My DH still has yet to read the book that has been sitting in his truck for over the past three weeks so that is upseting me too. I feel like Tyler is behind in his eating habits. I can barely get him to eat more than an once at a time. I keep trying and telling myself it will get better but that only works half the time. By the time my dh gets out of work all he wants to do is shower, eat and play video games as soon as Tyler goes down for the night. To see the looks on other mother's faces when I tell them that Tyler is still not sleeping through the night makes me want to cry right then and there.
I go over to my mom's at least once a week just to complain. Things have not gotten any better over the past two weeks. The only thing I can say is that he's eating solids more often now than he was two weeks ago.
He's still having a problem with bms so I think that has something to do with him not sleeping at night. I was I could get a handle on this so that it's not one thing it's another. I just feel like such a failure when I take him back to the pedi soon. She going to ask where he's sleeping and I am going to have to tell her he's still in our bed. She also going to ask how he's eating and I am going to have to tell her he sucks at it. And the dh gong to look at me like this is my show and it's all my fault.
Can you tell I am not having a good day. It's been over 24 hours since Tyler's last bm and I am just praying he has one soon. I also feel like I can't go any where during his nap time because of the heat.
It's all just too much for me right now with no end in sight.
6.24.2009
Member Comments About this Blog Entry
There are currently no comments on this blog entry
If we all have good days as well as bad than today is horrible for no big reason.
Tyler didn't sleep well last night. I didn't sleep well either. I didn't get to sleep in because my DH can only think of himself when he is tired. Than he spent more than forty-five minutes in the shower just in time to leave for work. I knew this was going to happen so I went and started a load of wash just to try to get him out of the shower. It didn't work. I can't believe him sometimes. I got up with our son every two hours last night not him. I just wanted him to take care of him so that I could get another hour of sleep. I wake up to him crying and my h is asleep holding him. I was to scream and yell and cry. None gets through to him what he puts me through. I asked him if he had feed him knowing the answer already.
I took a small nap this morning and thought it helped. It didn't.
Tyler won't eat anything but peaches hasn't pooped in almost a day(that's not good for him). He only took less than an hour nap this afternoon again not good for him. He didn't eat breakfast, I got him to take about a ounce of peaches for lunch and I am not looking forward to dinner. While eating his peaches he knocked the spoon out of my hand after he knocked into his eye. I just wanted to cry and keep crying until I feel better. I don't want to eat because of the heat. It's not hot today just muggy which is worse if you ask me. I just want to call and scream at my h when do I get a break? When can I have some me time? My h won't even pick up after himself. He wanted to make dinner last night I kept having to ask him when was he going to start dinner. He played online while making dinner while I gave our son a bath. Than when it was done I was nursing our son for bed he brings me a plate, I wanted to throw it at him. I asked why he made it for me. Looking down at our son. There was no way I was going to be able to eat it before it got cold. So he ate it himself. It's all the little things that he does for himself or the things that he doesn't do around this house that is making me crazy. There are chores that can be done at any time of the day that I would like him to do. The only thing he can seem to do is the garbage. The rest fall on me. Cleaning the cat box every other day, filling the cat and dog food containers, unloading the dishwasher, vacuuming the floors are the only thing that have to be done before Tyler goes to sleep but he can't seem to get anything done.
I am passed angry, I'm just plain depressed. I've tried leaving it, but that never works they are all things that need to be done to have a clean house. I've tried telling him to do these things he forgets or he just tells me I'm wrong. 'the floor doesn't need cleaned the cat box is fine.' I am so stress about the whole thing. He finally vacuumed the living room floor moving everything and taking forever yesterday. He kept showing me the amount of cat hair he was getting, like I didn't know since I had just done it the day before. I don't know what to do I can't keep doing it all I never get anything else done. Not to mention the times I have to hear Tyler cry while I'm doing the dishes or cleaning floors. I feel hurt more than anything, and alone in taking care of our son.
Time to go vacuum the living room again.
6.17.2009
Member Comments About this Blog Entry
There are currently no comments on this blog entry
He's trying to crawl as I write this. Last night he pushed him self backwards across the living room floor now he's trying to go after the dog's ball. it's so cute.
6.14.2009
Member Comments About this Blog Entry
There are currently no comments on this blog entry
I just wanted to up date that Tyler is still sleeping with us but we are working on getting him to fall back asleep without being picked up. DH is reading the 'no cry sleep solution' so he can help resolve our long standing problem.
I am just trying to take it one day or night at a time. I pray a lot about the whole thing. I feel bad for holding him so much but he was so small and our house felt so cold to me. I now know what not to do with the next child or son as my DH always says.
6.12.2009
Member Comments About this Blog Entry
There are currently no comments on this blog entry
I am so happy I figured it out now I don't know what to do about it. I am debating gas drops or colic stuff. Prunes or apples with every meal. Sugar water is said to work really well. I put in a call to my mother so we can discuss. These all seem to be temporary fixes to the problem. I have to write it down to discuss with the pedi in about a month. It would seem if it was something he would have to get used to, he would have in the last two months.
I might do drops until I can introduce a new food. We just started carrots yesterday.
What I still don't understand is how he could have such a hard time with solids when they are watered down and than thinned with BM. Plus he loves drinking out of a water bottle so I would say he gets almost 2oz of just plain water a day. I try to offer after each meal.
6.8.2009
Member Comments About this Blog Entry
There are currently no comments on this blog entry
Well he wasn't crying softly at all. He had rolled onto his belly and had his face down half the time. I really need to start putting him on his belly again and make him roll over in the morning when he is happy. I was on such a good roll with that and than we went to KY last month kinda threw off my groove.
He didn't sleep very well at all. He was up at 2, 4 and 6 ruffly. I don't know if it's a tooth, the sweet potatoes I gave him for the first time at dinner, or a growth spurt. My luck it's that one thing I can't think of.
If everyone knew how much hard work went into raising children would they still do it?
6.2.2009
Member Comments About this Blog Entry
There are currently no comments on this blog entry
Tonight Tyler didn't seem to want to go down to sleep. He started to look really tired when I go him out of his bath. So I hurried and got everything ready for him to go down for the night. He spent a half and hour at least nursing before he would go along with leaving my nipple out of him mouth. Than I rocked him for a while he seemed like he was out so I went to put him in his bed and walk out of the room when his eyes went wide open. I tried again to get him to fall asleep in my arms but it seemed to do was frustrate me and he didn't want to sleep. So I layed him in bed, gave him his blanket and told him to let me know when he wanted to go to sleep. He is now in there softly crying. I will go in if he starts yelling but I am at my wits end. I don't want him to CIO but I can't go through this half an hour of nursing and needing to be rocked to sleep either. I ordered a copy of 'No Cry Sleep Solution' so that I can return the copy from the library. Two months was still not enough for me to get anything done as far as getting him to bed.
I just get so mad and I don't want to get mad around him. I think it's better if he has to be by himself and me by myself. I needed a couple of moments to regroup. He's screaming got to go try again:( When he gets to collage I'm going to remind him of this!
5.31.2009
Member Comments About this Blog Entry
There are currently no comments on this blog entry
Tonight Tyler didn't seem to want to go down to sleep. He started to look really tired when I go him out of his bath. So I hurried and got everything ready for him to go down for the night. He spent a half and hour at least nursing before he would go along with leaving my nipple out of him mouth. Than I rocked him for a while he seemed like he was out so I went to put him in his bed and walk out of the room when his eyes went wide open. I tried again to get him to fall asleep in my arms but it seemed to do was frustrate me and he didn't want to sleep. So I layed him in bed, gave him his blanket and told him to let me know when he wanted to go to sleep. He is now in there softly crying. I will go in if he starts yelling but I am at my wits end. I don't want him to CIO but I can't go through this half an hour of nursing and needing to be rocked to sleep either. I ordered a copy of 'No Cry Sleep Solution' so that I can return the copy from the library. Two months was still not enough for me to get anything done as far as getting him to bed.
I just get so mad and I don't want to get mad around him. I think it's better if he has to be by himself and me by myself. I needed a couple of moments to regroup. He's screaming got to go try again:( When he gets to collage I'm going to remind him of this!
5.31.2009
Member Comments About this Blog Entry
There are currently no comments on this blog entry
Ok I need to write this down and get to bed. I have been sick to my stomach for the past four days at the same time of day, early afternoon. I thought it was what I was eating but today it hit me while I was grocery shopping. I haven't had AF since Tyler was born. I did have some spotting last month about the 15th but I don't know. There has only been three times that I could have gotten pregnant. I didn't want to get pregnant but I am not taking BC until I get AF back. I don't feel the need to take it while Tyler is still bfing. I don't think he needs anymore estrogen.
I don't want to be pregnant being this big. But on the up side I might get Tyler's hospital bills paid for if I am:)
I hope to keep you posted.
5.14.2009
Member Comments About this Blog Entry
There are currently no comments on this blog entry
I wanted to write something down. I feel like I am failing at loosing weight. The first week I gave up because the scale didn't move at all only to find out I cut back too much on my carbs. As soon as I wanted to get back into eating right and going to the gym I came down with a cold. I do have wheels in motion. Chris and I bought healthy food last night like stuff for salads and ground turkey. He is even going to make me a healthy breakfast when he gets up. He has been letting me sleep in so I thought now that I am feeling better I would repay the favor.
There are things I still need to work on. I need to find someone else to watch Tyler so that I can go to the gym, I need to start watching what I eat more. I also added a goal to loose 8 lbs before Becca comes for her visit at the end of March.
I have a couple of non-weight goals as well. I want to get Tyler's room done by the end of the month. One week left I better get a move on. I want to be more organized by the end of the month also. I wanted my dishwasher in by then too but I don't think that is going to happen. Is it wrong to think that I would have more time to clean other things if I didn't have to keep doing the dishes.
I finally got some pictures of our baby boy on the walls. He is so cute I can't believe we made such a handsome boy. I wish I would have been able to go to church today. The weather seems to laugh at me when I decide to go.
2.22.2009
Member Comments About this Blog Entry
There are currently no comments on this blog entry
I am trying really. I have a goal to get my 14's up over my butt and hips by the end of the month. Wish me luck. I have even gotten my office into helping by creating a contest. This week I am back to the gym and pilates I hope if all goes well.
2.16.2009
Member Comments About this Blog Entry
There are currently no comments on this blog entry
I am not liking that # what so ever. I do believe that my weight is the only reason I want this pregnancy over for the wrong reasons. I want to see my happy baby and find out if it's a boy or a girl but I consider those reasons the right reasons.
I have been taking it easy trying to keep the swelling down in my legs and feet by laying on my side a lot. I don't want my weight to go up anymore even if it is just fluid. But I still can't rule out all the Halloween candy I have been eating :(
10.27.2008
Member Comments About this Blog Entry
There are currently no comments on this blog entry
So I am still waiting for their to be clean dry towels for me to take a shower. We used most of them on the animals last night when we washed them. We are trying to get rid of the fleas in our house. I guess you can't put six large towels in a washer at once. Now I have to rerinse them. Still have to dry them before I can take a shower. DH wanted me to meet him for lunch at two. I might just make it if I hurry through my shower. This really stinks. But I think the fleas might be gone so that will make me happy.
I felt bad that DH had to work so hard on his weekend off. I left him a list while I went to my baby shower on Saturday and Sunday we went to church and out to my parents. He go the oil changed in both cars and even helped my mom get some things out of the house. Plus we flea bombed the house and washed both cats and the dog.
I want to give him some time for him to do what he wants. But there is just so much that needs to be done and I can't do it all myself. I will try to talk to him about it tonight. I just feel like I am waiting for someone to do everything.
10.20.2008
Member Comments About this Blog Entry
There are currently no comments on this blog entry
I should be walking the dog right now but I needed to get this down and out of my head. My husband works for a home improvement store where he is an assistant manger. Every year they go to seminars in Wisconsin. This year just happens to fall when I am due. My hubby has saved six days of vacation time for this baby but he may have to go to seminars just over night no matter what. And he can't take his vacation until the other managers have gone to seminar as well. So the best time for it to work out for his work schedule is to have the baby nine days after my due date. Plus I can't wait any longer because of the after Thanksgiving sale he can't take his vacation that week either. I want to cry. I know more than anyone that this child is not going to come when we want him to. But I am going to try my hardest to look on the bright side and pray a lot! 10.11.2008
Member Comments About this Blog Entry
There are currently no comments on this blog entry
I am waiting for a load of laundry to get done so I can hang it outside on this nice day. I already took the dog for a walk and we walked yesterday as well. It seems to be helping the swelling in my feet. I just wish I wanted to walk more in the morning. The last time I took the dog for a walk by myself around my neighborhood. The guy pulled up in his car next to use and told said 'Isn't that cute?' I told him thank you thinking he meant my puppy who is the cutest thing ever. The guy replied 'and the dog too.' Things like that didn't use to get to me but now when I feel like I can't defend myself they get to me a lot. I haven't walked the dog since. I feel bad cutting out exercise for the dog and myself but that guy just creeped me out. I made my husband go with me today.
10.10.2008
Member Comments About this Blog Entry
There are currently no comments on this blog entry
This time I was wearing my light sandal's so this is wear I want to stay for the rest of the pregnancy! Just thought this was interesting. The average D cup is 9lbs. The means I have 20lbs of just boobs. I don't know if that is a good thing or not.
10.10.2008
Member Comments About this Blog Entry
There are currently no comments on this blog entry
So a lot of swelling returned yesterday which made me very unhappy. So while I was at the women's expo I got my BP taken and it was 130/87. So I was right about it being up. I did take a nap and try not to eat much with salt in it but it's harder than you think to get the swelling down once it starts. I need to do all I can since this does seem like something I can help prevent.
Going to Red Lobster tonight with the in laws it should be fun. I just wish I felt more happy about how clean my house was.
10.5.2008
Member Comments About this Blog Entry
There are currently no comments on this blog entry
So at my last appointment my blood pressure was up and so was my weight way up! I have gained almost 40 pounds with the pregnancy. So the MW ordered labs after I told her my mother had toxemia when she was in labor with my older brother. The labs came back fine but I still need to be seen next week as well as the week after. She also wants me to take it easy and not try to do too much. How much is too much for me? I am on the verge of being bipolar when it comes to working on my house work or getting chores done before the baby comes. Plus I have got to clean my mothers house each week that is my only source of income other than unemployment which runs out in another month. I won't say I'm stressed being seen so much but a little worried. My MW has a way of making sure I know when things are not a big deal. She just keeps letting me know to take it easy. Try to only do one major activity a day and get off my feet for a couple of hours in the afternoon and evening.
9.27.2008
Member Comments About this Blog Entry
There are currently no comments on this blog entry
I don't know if it's my hormones or just me in general. Last night only two of the twenty-one people I invited to the baby shower. I was happy to see the two girls that came. But I still have get over the fact that so many didn't show up. I feel so hurt. Only four of them even made an effect to let me know they wouldn't be there. I know I shouldn't let it bother me but if I did that I wouldn't be me. Chris was there which helped with my mood. I felt like laughing most of the time but crying when I thought of the time and effort my friends went through to put on this shower. I know I can't say anything to any of them that didn't show. I just know if any of them invited me to something I would be there in a second. This stinks, my heart stinks. 9.25.2008
Member Comments About this Blog Entry
There are currently no comments on this blog entry
So the first baby shower is today. I was looking forward to starting the day off the some pilates but my instructor got a call back for a commercial. So I am left on my own. I still need to clean out my car and take the recycling back so it's nice and empty for the party tonight. There are some people that I am looking forward to seeing tonight and I have no idea if they are coming. I should start my list for this morning so I can get some things done before I meet my hubby at noon. The big thing I want to do it make chocolate chip cookies. I don't know why it might just be to eat the dough but I am going to make them just as soon as I do the dishes. 9.24.2008
Member Comments About this Blog Entry
There are currently no comments on this blog entry
My friend from CT wanted to see some new bump pictures. I can't get over how big I have been getting. I have to say when my husband and I took pictures LO was stretching out front just to make me look bigger.
9.12.2008
Member Comments About this Blog Entry
There are currently no comments on this blog entry
I got a great nights sleep last night. I couldn't believe it. I only got up once to use the bathroom and fell right back to sleep. I woke up with a smile on my face. I don't know if it has anything to do with what I did or didn't do yesterday. I am going to try to keep combining being active with putting my feet up and working on my brother in law's baby blanket. I will post a picture as soon as I finish. I hate to say it but I am beginning to enjoy my pregnancy again. 9.9.2008
Member Comments About this Blog Entry
There are currently no comments on this blog entry
So I had to give up and come home last night from camping. I was trying so hard to stay out with my mom all weekend but night three just got to me. I already had to nights of not sleeping well at all my mind and body just couldn't go another. I am going back out today and plan to stay the rest of the weekend. I still feel like a sissy for not staying out but I feel so much better after getting a good nights rest.
8.30.2008
Member Comments About this Blog Entry
There are currently no comments on this blog entry
This is the only place where I feel I can be heard and understood about things like the following.
I got my reminder in the mail yesterday stating that my appointment is next week. I wanted to double check with my DH to make sure he was able to come. He checks his work schedule and he doesn't have the day off. I am about heart broken because he was there when I made the appointment he could have said something than that is wasn't going to work. Now he makes me feel like it is my fault. I would just have one of my friends go with me but most of my good friends moved away this summer. Jobs are more important than your pregnant best friend. DH said he would see what they could do at work but since he is one of the managers I guess there are more hoops for him to jump through. I just wanted to dry forever. I don't know what hurt my feelings more, him not remembering our MW appointment or not having anyone else to ask to go with me.
On the up side after this appointment I go to every two weeks which means I am getting near the end :) 8.27.2008
Member Comments About this Blog Entry
There are currently no comments on this blog entry
I am not happy at all. I have even been trying more to watch what I eat and walk more. I just don't want to go over 25 and I still have 11 weeks to go.
8.21.2008
Member Comments About this Blog Entry
There are currently no comments on this blog entry
So I was so busy with the class and camping trips I forgot to take pictures for four weeks in a row. I can't believe it. I had it in my mind that I was only just over five months than my husband reminds me that no I'm now six months along. I am so upset that I will never get that month back.
8.5.2008
Member Comments About this Blog Entry
There are currently no comments on this blog entry
Well, I had my ortho appointment this morning and I am so glad that it is over. I wasn't able to wear my rubber bands all the time like I was told to. Between having a cold and not wanting to when I was feeling sick to my stomach my teeth didn't move like they wanted them to. But they did say if I wear my spaghetti's all the time with four other rubber bands I might stay on track to have my braces off in about six weeks. So by the end of May I should have my new smile. I can't wait!! Since I have been waiting for about twenty years now.(long story)
Now that I have finally faced my ortho I can look forward to tomorrow with the midwife. We might be able to hear the heart beat:) I know Chris can't wait. I sill have to write down a few questions to remember to ask. I just get in there and my mind goes blank.
In other news...There are three of us due in November that have ties to Menards. My husband works there. With me, one guy's girl friend and another girl who works in hardware that makes three. The store manager is starting to think it's a conspiracy with three in one month. There is one more at my ortho that is due at the end of November too, her first child's father works at Menards and the same ex is dating the ex who's girl friend is pregnant. I know that is hard to follow.
4.9.2008
Member Comments About this Blog Entry
There are currently no comments on this blog entry
I work in an office with four other women. Two of which are always giving me advice and I can't stand it. One hasn't even had any kids of her own. She thinks because she went to all the doctor appointments and classes with her niece it makes her an expert. I know it's not my hormones but my personality gets my wall up when I hear stupid advice. I want to tell them that I have a mother I don't need them giving random advice. I wish everyone came with a little more thought behind the advice. My mother has not even given me any advice but suggestions. She is even willing to do some foot work with me.
I would love more support and less advice. 4.2.2008
Member Comments About this Blog Entry
There are currently no comments on this blog entry
It started as just another way for everyone to get on the band wagon about me having a boy. When they would ask me questions about what I was having. I would just tell them to think positive. Another time when we were talking about something my brother in law was pouting and I just told him to think positive. I didn't know how much just saying that can change the outcome of your day. So there you have it I have just turned into a self help guru. 3.20.2008
Member Comments About this Blog Entry
There are currently no comments on this blog entry
Like I said in my first journal entry this is my husband and Is first pregnancy. It is also the first grandchild for both sides of our family. My parents already know and this past weekend we told his mother and boyfriend.
I had told my husband this was his chance to tell someone. So I left it up to him when he wanted to tell them. We all went out to dinner and he said he was going to tell them when we were waiting for the check. I waited and waited not knowing when he was going to start. When we got up to leave he still had not told them. We were following them back to their place so in the car he told me it was too loud and he didn't want to have to yell it. So I gave him ideas on how to bring the subject up to them. Thank them for dinner and tell them the reason we wanted to go out to dinner.
So after a while of sitting around talking he finally looked like he was going to tell them. I couldn't believe her reaction. She was so surprised she wanted to cry and laugh at the same time. Her boyfriend just to be funny, wanted to pick out names already. We also called my husband's grandmother and told her. She said,'well it's about time.' My mother in law want to know where we were going to put it. We have a very small house. And my brother in law was in stunned since.
I am glad they know but I am still afraid my mother in law in going to go nuts on buying stuff. She doesn't think about how those kinds of things are just fun for the two of us to pick out our selves. She even asked me if I was going to do everything in Winnie the pooh. Told her no that was my thing not everyone had to do the same. 3.18.2008
Member Comments About this Blog Entry
There are currently no comments on this blog entry
I just found this site today at work. Now with nothing to do but wait for the nausea to pass I thought I would start a page.
I only found out I was prego last week. Sine than everyone at work knows(small office) and my mother guessed, don't ask me how I hadn't told her anything. We are going to tell my husbands' family this weekend. I don't really want anyone else to know for a while giving that this is my first and I am not that far along.
3.12.2008
Member Comments About this Blog Entry
There are currently no comments on this blog entry
BabyFit, BabyPoints, BabyPages and other marks are trademarks of SparkPeople, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
BABYFIT is a registered trademark of SparkPeople, Inc. in the United States, European Union, Canada, and Australia. All rights reserved.
View All Entries 
RSS Feed