"I am so sorry for your losses. I don't know if I could cope with what you have experienced. I send love and positive happy thoughts to you. Here's to making a healthy pregnancy and baby #2. We can't give up!" -- WERBOWCE
Many things have happened since my last entry. But to sum it all up we are expecting for the fifth time. And our daughter will have a brother or sister for her birthday if all goes well this time. We pray that we have a healthy and full term pregnancy this time...
6.1.2012
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I haven't been on here in awhile. Things have certainly changed. I am pregnant for the fourth time. My second pregnancy was ectopic and I lost my right tube with it. My third pregnancy ended in miscarriage. I was accepted to the nursing program before I became pregnant for the second time. I should be completing Fourth Quarter in March 2011 and graduate the program in June 2011. My husband should finish the program he is in in March 2011. We still don't have an income in our household. We have been relying on family to help us as well as the government (Food stamps, WIC, and Medicaid). Hopefully everything will turn out alright. We want so badly to be self reliant again.
12.22.2010
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I have returned to school. I just finished my first quarter and am waiting to see if I am accepted into the Nursing program at college. My DH lost his job in October and has become a volunteer Firefighter. He has also returned to school for sheet metal. He hopes to get a job at the Air Force Base here. Brianna is just as sweet as can be. Wish us luck.
3.28.2010
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I have finished the course and am currently posting applications or my resume to everywhere I can find. I haven't had any good news on this front yet but hopefully soon. We are struggling but making it so far. DH is trying to bring more in but it isn't happening.
I am doing well as far as my health is concerned. I am getting over a cold but otherwise everything else is well. We aren't expecting another LO yet and are trying more and more for it to happen. I know I am not OLD!!, but I am not young either. I am worried too that there will be problems like our most recent. If it came down to it, we couldn't afford IVF.
10.15.2009
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I am half way through the Medical Claims and Billing Specialist course, and I am doing really well on all my tests. I think I will enjoy doing this, and I hope I do it well. I am not trying to get a job again until I finish, but we really need the extra money now so I pray everything goes ok for us.
DH hates his job so this is causing some extra stress we really don't need right now. He has been putting in applications everywhere, but he has had no luck so far. He wants to go back to school, but he hasn't been able to yet. This is something else we are working on.
Slow going, but I know things could be worse so I count my blessings.
8.25.2009
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I enrolled yesterday for Medical Claims and Billing Specialist Course. I hope to be done before the end of the year and started in a job in the area. It will be really different studying again. I haven't taken any courses since 1998, and I was too insecure in myself to get at least an Associates. I am a different person now so maybe I will do better for myself and even go on to get a degree...but that is thinking too far into the future for comfort.
7.15.2009
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My doctor's appointment yesterday went very well. My doc said that all looked good and we could TTC. I still don't have a job. IKON was looking for something I guess I just didn't have. I applied for Unemployment yesterday, too. I think I am going to try to go back to school but am worried how that will work out if I do get a job. We are also going to try to get my DH back in school. At least I don't have to worry about our truck being repossessed -- that baby is paid in full! (Thanks to my severance pay.)
7.9.2009
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My official last day with Capital City Bank was yesterday. I have an interview with IKON today, and I am hoping that this will be only the beginning of some really good things.
7.1.2009
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It is really terrible... I have gone back up to 161 lbs. I hope that when I finally go back to work I will be able to lose it. I know I haven't been able to because of being at home and my husband insisting on keeping junk in the house. I always give in to temptation which is why I didn't buy it when I was single and was able to go from 195 to 135. Ahhh 135, those were the days... I loved being thin and everyone telling me to "stop losing weight... you've lost too much."
6.30.2009
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I have the second part of the interview scheduled at IKON on Wednesday, 1 July 2009, at 3 pm. I am very hopeful about this position. I don't know if I will like this type of work, but something is better than nothing.
6.29.2009
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I had the first part of the interview for a position at IKON as a collections associate. Hope all goes well with the second part (if they call me). I haven't had a response from anyone else, but I know things will be alright. Can't wait to get to that point.
6.25.2009
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I am very worried about the future. I just hate not knowing what to expect or what the next step is. The waiting is killing me!! (FYI... Sometimes I worry until I make myself sick. DH hates it and tells me to stop, but I am a worrier so I can't.) Plus, it is that time of the month so it is just happiness all the way around.
6.9.2009
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I haven't heard anything yet from anywhere I have applied for a job. I hope I get something pretty soon. I know it is still early yet considering I just started putting in apps on 21 May, but I don't want 1 July to roll around and me still without a job. Guess we will see.
6.2.2009
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As of 30 June 2009, I will no longer have a job. I am currently putting in applications where I can. After 16 years with the same company, you would have thought they would have done better by me. I have done practically everything they asked of me including picking up roots (when I was single) and moving away from everything and everyone I have ever known (that was with the understanding that in the future I would become Manager of the area; which became null and void when we changed our processing procedures). It just pisses me off!!
5.22.2009
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"I'm so sorry! That really bites. Hopefully you find something better where they will appreciate you." -- TYSAJAYNE
Well, we are having a hard time waiting to TTC. We are using condoms, and we don't like it. Patience is a hard thing sometimes. I waited 10 years before I found someone to spend the rest of my life with (I was 28 when we met and 29 when we married). Then, it was 1 year and 9 months after we married before we got pregnant. Now, we have to wait longer for another baby than we would have because of the ectopic... Oh well, I guess I am only good at waiting for material things.
5.19.2009
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Well, I have my annual pap scheduled for 8 July. I hope that everything is alright. My last one on 8 January came back ok -- that was the first after my LEEP on 11 September 2008. I will also talk to my doctor about how much longer we have to wait to TTC (hopefully not the 6 months the nurse told me).
5.12.2009
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I had no idea when to expect my next period after the surgery, and I started yesterday evening. I hope all will go back to normal. Guess, we will see...
5.11.2009
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I am eating all the junk I can get my hands on and currently weigh 160 pounds. This is the most I have weighed since I got married (not counting when I was pregnant), shoot since I lost the weight all those years ago (2004). Anyway, maybe I will get out of the funk I am in soon.
5.4.2009
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"Funny thing is... I wouldn't even have junk food in the house if it weren't for my DH. He can eat almost anything he wants and not gain much at all. When I lost a lot of weight before he and I met, I didn't buy any junk food. That way there wasn't any temptation regardless of how I was feeling." -- EALISHATEW
"Oh, I hate the "junk food funk". Think of what one or two things would help get you OUT of it. They need to be things that you can actually start doing now. I have three things that I do....
(1) find and try at least two new healthy recipes each week from sparkrecipes.com.
(2) do a variety of workout routines. when i get bored, i find a new one. my favorites are 30 day shred and the Biggest Loser DVDs.
(3) have a fitness buddy. i work with my buddy, plus we a great friends. i can..." -- KELLYDENISE
It is coming up on 10 May 2009. My DH is taking me out tomorrow night to Longhorn's for the occasion. I know it early, but we have to work around our schedules and family (we are hoping to have a nice quiet evening without our LO since we don't get to very often). I am looking forward to it...
5.1.2009
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My youngest brother and his wife are expecting (his first and her second). I couldn't be happier for them. My DH is upset that they told me so soon after our loss, but I told him and my sister-in-law that I am fine and excited for them.
4.30.2009
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"Guess you don't have a BabyPage so I can't give you a Goodie... Thanks for your comments. I feel like I have been able to separate my sadness from their joy which is why I told my DH that I am fine. I have suffered in other ways since I was little and had to learn to deal with it; so, I guess I drew from those previous experiences for this situation." -- EALISHATEW
"The emotions can feel very awkward when you have a close family/friend that is expecting and you have suffered a loss. One of my best friends and I were both pregnant (me for a very short time), when I had an ectopic/miscarriage). I knew that I wanted her to be happy and not worry about me, but it was hard. The first few weeks seemed miserable. Then, with God's help, I learned what it was like to separate my sad experience from her happy experience. I learned I could have different emotions..." -- KELLYDENISE
My daughter, Brianna, is so sweet. She loves to give hugs and dance. She started humming a song yesterday while we danced (her holding my hands while I slowly turned us). She has a wonderful personality, and I am enjoying watching her grow.
4.28.2009
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I am not happy about it, but I am back to work today. I appreciate their concern, but I can't stand all my co-workers feeling sorry for me. It is fine to just read about how sorry someone feels but to see it makes it all the worse.
4.27.2009
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We are expecting number two and are very excited. The estimated due date is 3 December 2009. My first appointment is 22 April at 10:30 am. I can't wait.
4.6.2009
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I have decided never, never , never to take BC again. It totally messed up my cycle. I used to always know exactly when I would start, about how long it would last, and what it would be like. But since coming off it (this past November -- on it for about 10 months after birth of my daughter), my cycle has been crazy, and I don't like it one bit.
4.1.2009
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"have you considered trying the Paragaurd IUD? it doesn't have any hormones and it's 99.9 % effective. i have one and haven't had any trouble with it at all- i loved it so much after we had our 2nd son, i got another one!" -- IZZY4LIZZY
I don't understand my boss. Not long ago, her husband nearly died, and she was talking about how she would "never put the Bank first ever again, because family is more important." But when I need time off, this is what I get from her: "I need you here. I am already short two people." To me, family comes first... no matter what. So, needless to say she is "not happy" with me right now (but I haven't been happy with her since I started working under her about 13 years ago). When I was single, it didn't bother me as much (it still bothered me especially at certain times), but now I have a child, and my daughter is so much more important to me than the company for which I work. You would think that with her being a mother she would be more sympathetic but guess not.
3.30.2009
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Brianna has been leading me into her room when I tell her we need to change her diaper for the last month. Today, she started pointing to her diaper and jabbering as if she were telling me "I peed and need a diaper change." She is too cute! Ya know, I helped my sister with her six children (more with the older 4 than the younger 2), and I don't remember them ever doing that, but then again, all children are different. At least Brianna doesn't scream or fuss anymore when I go to change her diaper like she did (from the time she was born until these last 2 months).
3.27.2009
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I was overweight all of my teenage years. I hated it but thought that was part of the curse of being in my family. It (the obesity) has hit some worse than others and earlier for some of us. I lost some weight when I was 20 but gained it back less than a year later (I blame this on a brother who was gone for a year and then came back). Then, I lost weight again the year before I met my husband. I warned him that when I had a child I may not be able to lose the weight, and he said it would be okay if I didn't, but he knew that I could do it if I wanted to. Well, I weighed in at 196 pounds on delivery day at the hospital -- 193 at check out. When I went back to work 6 weeks later, I weighed about 171. I have been about 150 for 8 1/2 months. I was about 140 when I got pregnant with our first. And I don't guess I will lose anymore before I get pregnant again. Oh, well (typical for women in my family).
3.26.2009
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Well, I've been thinking a lot again about wanting to stay at home instead of going to work everyday, and it has me a little depressed. I never really wanted a career but kinda got stuck in my position at the bank where I work. My family can't afford for me NOT to work right now, and so I guess its hopeless... 3.25.2009
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"I feel for you!! I know exactly what you're going through. It is kinda depressing. --hugs--" -- JLCROBESON
First pregnancy: (Found out I was pregnant Monday morning, 4 June 2007) I didn't worry too much about how much I ate or how often I treated myself, but I always made sure to eat lots of fruits and veggies. I drank lots of milk, too.
I am not very good at controlling my intake. The only time I could was when I was single and living alone. I was tired of being fat (5'4" and 195 pounds; 27 years old) and lost the weight without a problem (down to 137 pounds; 28 years old). Then, I got married to a man (7 1/2 years younger) that never had to worry about weight in his whole life (he was skinny most of it; even now he only has a little belly). He insists on keeping junk food in the house (even though I told him: if it is in the house, I will eat it, and I pretty much did.)
3.24.2009
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Very typical pregnancy; although, I gained too much weight (about 55 pounds -- taking me to 195). In the end, I had to have a c-section, because she was breech. I was 37 weeks when I went into labor. My water broke at about 7 am on Friday morning, and we made it to the hospital at about 8:45 am. I was 4 cm dilated when I was checked at 9:15. I labored without drugs until about 2:20 pm. Then, when I was checked after the epidural at about 3:05, my doctor said she could feel a butt not a face like they first thought; I was 6 cm dilated. My little girl was born at 3:32 pm.
3.24.2009
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That is my nickname for my daughter, Brianna. She is so sweet! Although, She can have a very nasty temper, too (she gets that from her father who gets it from his father, go figure). She is a mess though. She loves music and dancing. She loves to give "oh wees" (hugs) and to "get you" (almost tackling you to give you hugs -- usually you are sitting on the floor when she does this). And she absolutely loves being "hidden" in her stuffed animals -- the only part of her you can see usually is her face and sometimes her feet. She misses her father and me so much it just breaks my heart sometimes. We both work full time, and Brianna stays with his mother (Grams). She doesn't get to see us for more than 10 hours a day and hardly wants to let us go when she has us (probably a total of 3 to 3 1/2 hours during her awake time -- except for most Saturdays and Sundays). Since she started walking (four days before her first birthday), it hasn't been so bad, because she can come after us, but she still has her moments when nothing will do but to be held by her momma (and occasionally her daddy). I have a hard time getting my household chores done or cooking when she us like that. But I wouldn't trade my little honey pot for anything!
3.23.2009
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That is what my hubby calls me from time to time. I am a little corny and that is ok. And I hope no one else minds since I have been sending people I don't even know BabyFit Goodies. I decided I wouldn't spend my BabyFit Points on myself; everything I buy will go to others. It makes sense to me since I can't afford to buy things for others in real life. (Not that I can afford to buy for myself either) 3.20.2009
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I have been a part of BabyFit since towards the end of August 2007 and have just now decided to create a BabyPage. Now, don't think this is the beginning of a bolder me, because I am a big chicken... just ask my hubby . 3.19.2009
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