Hugs to you, Nance - the other ladies gave lots of great advice - I just wanted to give you a reassuring hug that "Momma said there'd be days like this"...and sometimes they stretch into weeks, but be consistent and this too will pass. (((hugs)))
It doesn't take a very strong person to carry a grudge!
Married nearly 22 years. We are blessed with 4 children and 2 angel babies. My sweetheart says I look quite good for having had 6 children! :-) He is a keeper!
"He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose!" Jim Elliot
FIRSTSKINBABY
Posts: 3703
12/7/10 8:49 P
I really like the idea of turning her high chair when she's demanding and screaming at the table. I will try that tomorrow for sure!
Thanks for the encouragement ladies. It's so much better when I know I'm not alone with this. I really hope I can direct her energy better when she is older. I have a feeling she could really go places in her life or really raise some he!! in her life. With her, there is no in between!
MICHAELSWIFE
Posts: 3893
12/6/10 5:37 P
hey nance, remember how abbie is my amelia in every sense of the word? remember how i hated confessing that i loved her to pieces but we were so different and we just clashed hard core and it made me so sad? just to give you hope... abbie is 3 now. she can still be a COLLOSSAL pain in the butt. however, we have had a radical shift in our relationship and it is quite special. she is still very much the kitty cat...love is very much on her terms, when she wants it. however, she has become quite affectionate and sweet. (but she can be a hard-headed manipulative turd-ball too. like last night. ) i definitely think it is just a phase that she has to grow out of. for me, the teething thing wasn't so bad with abbie, it was the potty training/napping issues. honestly, i think abbie is a whole lot of fun now. life is certainly not boring with her. she is krazy lite. just give it a bit more time. i know it stinks with another on the way. i know...i've been there. it will get better. hugs to you great mommy!!!!
kishmo ken hu--"Like his name, so is he" (1 Samuel 25:25).Jer.29:11-13
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DAUPHINS3
Posts: 3135
12/6/10 5:25 P
When dinner gets like tht, I usually turn Brody's high chair around and then we ignore him. He quiets faster if he thinks he has no audience b/c he can;'t see us.
Good luck, I hope she calms down a bit soon. This is such a trying age, but also very fun (this is what I keep trying to remind myself of anyway)!
Edited by: DAUPHINS3 at: 12/6/2010 (17:25)
DAUPHINS3
Posts: 3135
12/4/10 6:33 P
Oh yeah, Brody just started this , too : he loves books and wants to read one with me when he gets up. So, I started letting him pick the book and hold/"read" it while I change his diaper and dress him. Then, if he has behaved (and we have time before school), I sit down and read it to him. They usually are 30 second reads. Otherwise, if we get through all the dressing, etc., I will read it while they eat breakfast or as soon as we get back from dropping Ben off.
JENI0607
Posts: 3976
12/4/10 12:25 P
Nance I do the same with DS when he doesn't want to walk Sofia to School, I just keep on walking and he follows along crying. I did this for about a month and he finally gave up when he discovered he got no attention for it, but on his good days I would praise him and tell him what a good boy he was. I think it's a phase to challenge us and see just how much they can get away with.
When he used to fight me on getting dressed I would just go silent and not make eye contact with him, for him that is the worst because mommy won't play the game and won't look at him. After a minute or so he would start trying to hug me to get my attention and the second he was behaving I would talk to him and kiss him and he learned that he got positive reactions for positive behaviour.
Could she also be trying to get your DH to spend more time with her, Sofia used to act up just to get DH's attention then at about 3 she switched to wanting me all the time and her tantrums stopped.
Have you tried a sticker chart for her? Mine used to get stickers for doing certain tasks and after so many stickers they got a reward - extra story, one on one colouring time etc...
Jeni
DD July 26th 2006
DS December 21st, 2007 (his twin went to our Lord 05/10/07)
DS June 15th, 2011
MC 10/25/08
MC 06/09 7 weeks 3 days
MC 08/09 9 weeks
MARKNCALSMOMMY
Posts: 8270
12/4/10 9:10 A
This sounds like Calvin. It did get better with time, but he's still our loose cannon.
The other day he was climbing the candy racks at Kmart after I told him he couldn't have any. And lately he's been biting because he thinks it's funny, he even bruised me one day. And how a 2.5 yo understands lying already, I won't understand.
Mostly just consistency and patience and he's gotten better. He needs a lot of threats and consequences, but he's shaping up okay. Sorry I can't be more help, I've struggled with this as well, and that's all I've got.
Hugs!
Edited because treats and threats are only one letter apart....I meant to say threats originally, but treats always help too LOL!
Edited by: MARKNCALSMOMMY at: 12/4/2010 (09:32)
~*Molly*~
DAUPHINS3
Posts: 3135
12/3/10 9:40 P
Could she be lashing out b/c of the changes going on with the new baby coming?
Ben used to refuse to put on mittens and hats, etc. I did/do as you do just bring them along, they get cold in 5 minutes and then beg for them. We still go through it each time. It seems to be an attempt to establish independence. Brody is a toughie for getting diapers changed or getting dressed, too. I often have to practically sit on him for both and chase him down. In the morning, I found that if I don't let him out of his room (we have a gate in the doorway while he sleeps), it is easier to pin him down for dressing.
This is a tough age b/c they get frustrated easily and they are trying to assert some independence. From what I have learned in school, nurses are supposed to advise parents to allow some independence (ie offer 2 choices both of which make the parent happy, but the child is happy b/c they get a choice), ignore the negativity.
Brody also used to be so easy for DH and since DH has been taking care of him more, he has started giving DH trouble too. It seems to be the person who cares for them most often who gets the brunt of the bad behavior. SHe feels comfortable testing the waters with you b/c she knows you will be there no matter what.
As far as the personality clash, my mom and sis are the same way. They have clashed since she was born.
We don't allow any violent behavior here, but it happens. I just carry Brody off to his room to be alone for a while. If he doesn't get a reaction except isolation, he gets upset and won't do it for a while. He is only there as long as it takes for him to calm down b/c he is usually already emotionally out of control when the violence starts. Both mu boys seem to laugh at punishment until I get really tough (send them to their rooms, take away priviledges, etc.).
Sorry I have no real solutions, just lots of HUGs!
CATHY_T
Posts: 10339
12/3/10 4:37 P
Hmm, how about going out with one sock on? Or even undressed/in PJs? If it saves you a fight and allows you to get there on time....
Reverse psychology, if you know she's going to do the opposite of what you ask? It might work a few times...
Nathaniel is doing some of those things too, but not to the same extreme. He laughs at me when I scold him, hits Isaac, and thinks kicking me during diaper changes is hilarious. I have taken to giving him one smack on his bottom (or thigh if he's too poopy!) if he kicks - I do NOT want him to think kicking my belly is a fun game.
Isaac is my screamer, although Nathaniel has taken to copying him. It makes my ears hurt so they get timeout in their rooms for that.
FIRSTSKINBABY
Posts: 3703
12/3/10 3:40 P
I don't even know where to start. Amelia is our challenge. And lately she has turned violent (hitting, bitting, charging and attacking me). She laughs at any reprimand and TO's are not affective. Everything is a game to her. Trying to get her somewhere on time is almost impossible. She gets one sock on and runs away. She fights all clothing to the point where I have to pin her down physically - and even then I can't restrain her all that well. She has selective listening ears - sometimes she complies, but most of the time she does the opposite of what we ask and thinks it's hilarious. I ignore that, but it's getting hard because we NEED to get places on time. When she doesn't get what she wants, she screams (which she gets no reaction from us) then she'll throw anything she can pick up, and attack the nearest human by running to them and hitting. She is getting her 2yo molars - so I know she's hurting sometimes, and we give her Motrin for the pain of that - but that still doesn't curb the behaviour. Could the molars be causing all of this? She is 22 months now so I know she's coming into the terrible 2's, but I'm afraid this is more. I need some help from you mommies who have experience with this type of toddler - I hate to say this, but ever since she was born, I really feel like we clash in personalities. I don't understand her at all. I love her to bits don't get me wrong, I just need some insight to try to understand her more and what she needs from me to curb this behaviour! Thanks in advance!! xo, Nance
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