NOTSURE BabyPoints:4130
Posts: 567
12/26/10 11:44 P
Hi, I am very sorry for your loss. I lost my little one on the 22 of November it took me a few weeks to start to feel better. I found that the best thing was to talk about my feelings with anyone willing to listen get it out cry when you want to cry laugh when you feel like laughing don't feel pressured to feel happy when you are not own your feelings allow yourself to feel the pain. Let us know how you are doing and if you need to talk i'm here, sometimes it is hard to always talk to loved ones as you don't want to feel like a burden,so if you need to, instant message me. I promise this will get easier it already is for me and its only been 4 weeks. Take care.
Savannah May arrived on the 6th of December at a healthy 8.2 ounces and 21 inches long! She is way to cute!!
ZOOMOM
Posts: 1628
12/18/10 3:47 P
I am very sorry for the loss of your little Evan. My heart is breaking for you. Loss is never easy and even harder around the holidays.
The only advise I have for you is to grieve... how ever you need to, please grieve. It is the only thing that truely helped me to accept what had happened. The more I pushed my feeling away, the less I dealt with my feelings, the more distant DH and I became. Once I realized what I needed, the flood gates opened... and I felt better, tons better.
Feel free to mm me if you need to talk.
Sondra :)
TTC/Pregnant After a 2nd/3rd Trimester Loss
Do you have a sleeping angel and are pregnant again OR thinking about, getting ready to, and actively TTC. Let's support each other on our quest for a happy and healthy child.
Active Group Member: Babies~R~Us, TTC After a Loss, Still Babies, Loosing More Than One, Genetics Causing Misscarriage
Hopefu
BUBBLES_NW2003
Posts: 1301
12/16/10 1:08 A
I'm sorry you are going through this. My first pregnancy ended in m/c and we had been trying for a while and I was devastated. I know everyone says this, but time really does help. It is really hard to function for a while but it does eventually get easier and hopefully your other children will be a light for you during this time and your husband will be as understanding as he can be (mine tried too, but they just don't experience it the same way). Allow yourself to be sad, don't be afraid to ask for help from your husband, friend,s and family if you can.
One thing I did find helpful was doing some guided meditation specifically focused on health and graditude (I downloaded an app for my phone) before going to sleep at night. It would help to remind me of all the really good things in my life and take my focus off my loss. There will always be a little part of me that wonders what that baby would have been like. We have a daughter now though and she is amazing, I can't imagine her any different than she is.
Sasha at 21 months.
ANGUISH
Posts: 1
12/15/10 11:44 P
Putting in words how I feel right now is almost impossible, I'm just going to try-it might not make sense, but nothing in my head makes sense right now. I have two other children, a 4 yr old boy and a 1 yr old girl. I've always had an intuitive sense about my pregnancies, I knew I was pregnant before the tests, I knew if they were boys or girls. I was just deeply connected right away. This baby wasn't any different. He wasn't planned, my husband and I are going through some tough marital roadblocks right now so I was scared when I first found out. I knew I wanted another baby, just that the timing was off. It didn't take me long to accept it though, and I got very excited-making plans for his future, the baby shower, and I even had his name picked out. Evan James. Then I started bleeding. I went to the ER and ran tests. They told me he was ok, that my cervix was closed. The next day it started again, only heavier and with cramps. My other two children were born on the 14th-one in may the other in november. I found out I would lose the baby on December 14th. 5 days after my birthday and 10 days before Christmas. Every cramp and clot is a reminder. I want to be alone, but that's impossible-my kid's laughter in the other room only makes me remember that I won't ever hear Evan's laugh or hold him or kiss him. I feel completely lost. Like someone punched a whole through my chest and I'm supposed to figure out how to breath without my lungs and live without my heart. Before, when my friends or relatives lost babies I thought that if it ever happened to me, it would be hard no doubt, but that I could be strong enough to handle it. I don't know if I am. I feel like I failed him somehow. I've been through a lot in my life and I've always been able to pull myself up and do what needs to be done and go on, but I don't want to even get out of bed. I want to be there for my kids, they don't understand what happened and it bothers me for them to see me like this but I just can't fake it until I get through it this time. The rational side of me is telling me everything will be ok, that it just takes time, these things happen. I just can't feel that though-I want to know what he would have looked like, been like. The loss is crushing. All my life I've been told to be strong and had the feeling that letting things get you down this hard was a weakness so I feel ashamed of the degree I'm hurting. Music has always helped me through things but I haven't found anything that's right. Christmas is coming and I have things I'm supposed to get done for Ethan and Bella. My husband has to work and is an emotional brick wall-he's trying to be there but I just don't think he knows how. It's like a bomb went off and I'm broken but the world is still moving around me and doesn't realize what just happened. I don't know what to do, so I guess I'm just asking-How do you keep going? Is there anything you all have found that helped you? Books, music, anything. I don't know what to do.
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