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anyone here from the march board

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HOLLYC29
Posts: 2108
11/6/12 3:57 P

I definitely will go to Hershey again this summer....Sesame Place is there and I think Addison will have more fun @ 2 than she did at 1!! =)
I promise I can make something happen this summer...
I have commission checks coming in after the 1st of the year, so I can budget for the summer.
I would love to come west, but if you're will to come this way that would be great too!! =)

ITS A GIRL!!! Addison Brooke
m/c #1 August 13, 2006 EDD March 17, 2007
m/c #2 January 7, 2007 EDD Sept 9, 2007

SCORPIOJ
Posts: 1060
11/5/12 10:59 A

Holly - I'm so sad, but I understand. It would be great to plan something in the summer. Maybe we can all meet somewhere fun, like Mall of America or Hershey, PA - someplace family friendly.

Angel Baby - Suspected tubal and surgery 7-9-06. Pregnancy was not tubal. MC 8-3-06

Brendan James Born 6-4-07
7:54 PM 7lbs 5oz 19 1/2 inches long.

Miscarriage 7/09

Liam Nathaniel born 2/8/11 12:59 PM 8 lbs 7 oz 20 in long

HOLLYC29
Posts: 2108
11/2/12 4:35 P

Where is everyone?????
Sadly enough I dont think coming to TX is going to work out. I have a commission check due in the week after...if it was before I would make it happen, but I just cant.
I'd like to come this summer though..maybe some of us could meet up???
I miss talking to you girls. I hope you're all doing ok!!! xoxo

ITS A GIRL!!! Addison Brooke
m/c #1 August 13, 2006 EDD March 17, 2007
m/c #2 January 7, 2007 EDD Sept 9, 2007

HOLLYC29
Posts: 2108
10/11/12 12:47 P

Speaking of...he just asked me again..ha!!
I got off easy the last two weekends because of my period...
I dont know. I think it just will complicate things and he'll think that means there's a chance..so Im hesitant.
You're right, Jamie, how can you move forward if you're sleeping w/ your past?!? Hmmmm
The thing is now iM not angry w/ him all the time and pi$$ed off, so its not bad anymore...haaa!
Thanks for the tips on teh bottles. We're going to do the sippy cup at nap first and then move to bedtime too..
She cried the other night and i only gave her a bottle w/ 2 oz of water and she threw a fit. After 44 minutes of hearing her I had to cave. I have to work...and it was terrible the next day.
So we'll see.
Things are positive @ work, so please please please keep me in your prayers. I would love to come down and see everyone!!!

ITS A GIRL!!! Addison Brooke
m/c #1 August 13, 2006 EDD March 17, 2007
m/c #2 January 7, 2007 EDD Sept 9, 2007

ROBIN5470
Posts: 1912
10/8/12 9:53 P

Holly - Tony tried to get me to sleep with him a few times. I didn't give in, but it's only probably because he isn't very good anyway. I understand why you did. It has been years for me and it sucks.

I'm glad its almost over for you. I still haven't got my paperwork filled out yet. Tony has been telling the babysitter that he wants me back and that he has changed, but I will never know because I won't give him a chance. Not going to happen!!

It took me forever to get Christian off of the bottle. He did take the transition to the cup better than I thought, when I finally said enough is enough. I gave him a sippy cup at nap too. Anything to get them to sleep. I swore I'd never do alot of stuff before I became a mom that I ended up doing.

Robin

Christian Anthony born Jan. 2, 2008 8lbs 5 oz.
EDD 01/02/08
Angel Baby D&C 8/26/06(EDD 3/22/07)
Lindsay
Austin
Cody

HOLLYC29
Posts: 2108
10/8/12 12:38 P

Robin..Im so sorry about Lindsay. I feel horrible. Yes you're her mom, but she has a father that isnt helpful in this kind of situation! I'm so sorry!!!
Addison is going to be an owl. I think I might take her this weekend to a Boo at The Zoo thing they have here..maybe.
Mike has her on Halloween and the Saturday that we have our local trick or treat. I was bummed about it, but she doesnt know what day trick or treat is...so we'll see.
I slept w/ Mike a few weeks ago..he asked and I said no and then thought "OMG what if its years before I have sex again..." I of course prefaced it w/ "this doesnt change anything.." and he said "I know..." but then tried to tell me how much he loved me and how much he wants us to work...during...really?!? You cant say these thngs in the light, but in bed?? so sad!!!
I felt guilty the next day...and he has asked once after that and I said no. we signed papers last Friday and we have a class to take on Oct 20th and then wait about 45 days for a court date. Its crazy that 7 years of a relationship will be over in about 2 months..just crazy!
Im still doing ok though...sad alot, but doing ok. I know its the right thing to do. We barely talk unless we text message one another..he just is such an emotional mute and I've just shut down.
Any suggestions for breaking ADdison of the bottle? We only do it at naps and bedtime and I swore I'd never give my kid a bottle in bed..never say never! right?!? I want to wean her to a sippy cup for naps first and then try nighttime. Its going to be HARD!!!!
Kari, how are you? How did the testing go???
Jamie...fun times on yoru trip. HOw are you and Tim getting along??
Unless I close some deals at work soon I wont be coming to Texas in DEc. I just cant cut it unless I put it all on a credit card adn I dont want to do that. ...fingers crossed!!!

ITS A GIRL!!! Addison Brooke
m/c #1 August 13, 2006 EDD March 17, 2007
m/c #2 January 7, 2007 EDD Sept 9, 2007

KARI22
Posts: 849
10/4/12 11:01 A

Caleb is going to be a recycling truck man. We have an orange vest and Tim is going to call Waste Management to see if we can get him a hat. He'll wear boots, jeans, and a long sleeved shirt. We go door to door in our neighborhood. Fun times! :)

Plan like you will live forever; Live like you will die tomorrow.

ROBIN5470
Posts: 1912
10/3/12 10:03 A

Jamie - Christian is a ninja turtle. I made the mistake of buying the costume early, so he wears it constantly.

I usually take my kids (now kid) door to door. I have done the mall in the past once. It was lame. Each store only gave out one piece of small candy and most of the time it was that orange and black wrapped crap. I used to take my older kids when they were younger up to the high school. The high school students dressed up and decorated the school and passed out candy. They liked that. I usually go to the rich neighborhoods to go trick or treating. The one I took Christian too last year had face painting and other fun activities in the culdesac.

Robin

Christian Anthony born Jan. 2, 2008 8lbs 5 oz.
EDD 01/02/08
Angel Baby D&C 8/26/06(EDD 3/22/07)
Lindsay
Austin
Cody

SCORPIOJ
Posts: 1060
9/28/12 3:46 P

Oh Robin! I'm so sorry. It did seem like you two were doing better. I know that had to be a hard decision, but you have to protect yourself, and you're right, Christian doens't need to be exposed to that. I imagine there comes a point when you can't really control your children anymore - especially when there is another parent doing what her dad is doing. You have done the best you can, and hopefully you have laid a good enough foundation that when she is a little more mature she will understand, and you two can have a relationship again. Hang in there.

ROBIN5470
Posts: 1912
9/28/12 1:12 P

Hi girls.

Kari - I just want to let you know I am thinking about you. Hugs.

Jamie - Yes, it came out on it's own and was crawling on the counter. Austin killed it, but said he felt bad because it was such a pretty spider. I asked him if he still felt bad when I tell him that it was a jumping spider. He said "Nope. Not at all. Glad it's dead". lol

I had to make a hard decision today and send Lindsay to live with her dad. We were doing well for a while, but her dad started calling again and she started being verbally abusive again and she called me a stupid f'ng bitch this morning, so I smacked her and she hit me back. The name calling is pretty much a daily thing and has been since she started talking to her dad. It's really hard for me because he is the reason she is the way she is and I feel like I'm sending her back to become a horrible person, but I can't keep letting her do this to me and Christian shouldn't be exposed to it. I'm not gonna lie, I feel like a pretty big failure. She got on the phone with her dad and they were laughing at me. He's a horrible father.

Robin

Christian Anthony born Jan. 2, 2008 8lbs 5 oz.
EDD 01/02/08
Angel Baby D&C 8/26/06(EDD 3/22/07)
Lindsay
Austin
Cody

SCORPIOJ
Posts: 1060
9/27/12 12:20 P

Kari - I hope you're feeling OK. Keep us posted.

Holly - Did you have your meeting with the attorney? How have things been with Mike?

Robin - Did yu ever get that spider out of your microwave? =)

HOLLYC29
Posts: 2108
9/25/12 1:35 P

Thinking of all you girls today!!!
xoxoxo

ITS A GIRL!!! Addison Brooke
m/c #1 August 13, 2006 EDD March 17, 2007
m/c #2 January 7, 2007 EDD Sept 9, 2007

HOLLYC29
Posts: 2108
9/21/12 2:54 P

I came to check to see how she is too!
Kari, I hope you're doing ok!
Its so hard, but sounds like you're handling as well as can be expected.
As I said in my FB message...you're getting pregnant and thats 1/2 the batte....so at least you know you dont have a fertility issue there!! Which is a positive!!
AS far as the miscarriages...you had one and then Caleb (which is common...) and then you had this after your IUD..which could be a coincidence. You dont know.
If you really feel in your heart one child is all your family needs then thats awesome!! But dont be afraid of the "unknown" as well. Testing is so simple and again, getting pregnant isnt your problem. IF you decide to get testing..I would ask about progesterone. I swear to you I think thats what saved my pregnancy w/ Addison. I started it as soon as I got a positive (very faint) and my numbers were so low they kept telling me to not get my hopes up and right after the progesterone started my numbers kept going up and and up...Ive heard that from other people to. Just a thought, but again..whatever you and Tim decide we back you 100%!!!! You know what's right for your family!!! =) xoxoxo

ITS A GIRL!!! Addison Brooke
m/c #1 August 13, 2006 EDD March 17, 2007
m/c #2 January 7, 2007 EDD Sept 9, 2007

SCORPIOJ
Posts: 1060
9/21/12 10:10 A

Kari - How are you doing?

SCORPIOJ
Posts: 1060
9/18/12 3:46 P

Kari,

If you and Tim decide that this is it, and you're happy with one child, there is nothing wrong with that. It's so obvious that you guys love Caleb and can give him a great life.
However, take some time after this marriage is complete to let you body and heart heal before you make any firm decisions. This miscarriage could have been something as simple as remaining effects of the birth control. If you and Tim really want to add to your family, give it another try. If you decide you are truely happy with your family just the way it is then make your plans and continue to give Caleb the very best. Don't have any regrets.
You know that whatever you decide we support you!

KARI22
Posts: 849
9/18/12 1:17 P

Thanks, Robin. I don't know if I'm in denial or just in a place where it feels so good to know answers. I went in again this morning and the sack we saw yesterday was gone but hasn't passed yet so I had them insert those miscarriage pills again. Just waiting for them to kick in! Last time I think it took about 5 hours. They also gave me pain killers and anti-nausea meds but I'm really hoping to not have to take those. If the first dose doesn't work, I have another dose to try again tomorrow. Meanwhile, my house is getting really, really clean and organized! My label maker is my BFF in times like these and who-wee, I will have one organized home at the end of this! :)

Plan like you will live forever; Live like you will die tomorrow.

KARI22
Posts: 849
9/17/12 5:59 P

Thanks. I am surprised as well about the testing but we'll see. I am hoping to pass naturally, I didn't last time and did the pill. It was a missed miscarriage last time and this time, I don't know what it is, natural? My cervix was still completely closed up tight when she checked me this morning. Not terrible cramping, just period like cramps. I hope it happens soon so we can move on. We have been toying with the idea of moving and now we can look for a smaller house (ie, smaller monthly payment!) and possibly put Caleb in a private school next year. I've had my eyes on one for a while that really fits my parenting philosophy but we could never afford to send two kids there. See, everything happens for a reason, right? I'm really beginning to believe that we are just meant to have one. After 2 miscarriages and being on the wait list for 4 years to adopt (when we started the wait was only 9 months) it's time to move on from our baby making years and get on with the rest of our life!

Plan like you will live forever; Live like you will die tomorrow.

SCORPIOJ
Posts: 1060
9/17/12 5:21 P

Kari, I am so sorry. Talk about highs and lows.. Did you do the pill last time or did it happen naturally? Since you started bleeding so heavily today you may pass it naturally anyway which I was told was the better way, but who knows.. I'm surprised your Dr. would want to do testing already seeing as how common miscarriage is, but it may give you peace of mind knowing if it's just one of those things, or if there is something causing you to have trouble carrying to term. Whatever you decide you know we are here for you. Love you, and thinking about you!

KARI22
Posts: 849
9/17/12 4:04 P

The spotting turned into a full blown period this morning along with cramps and lower back pain. I went to the dr and she did an ultrasound. The sac is still there but hasn't grown at all, still measuring 5 weeks and I am 7 weeks since my last period. I had blood drawn to see my HCG then will go back tomorrow morning for another ultrasound to see if anything happened then we'll decide if we do that pill to speed things up or let it go natural.

I don't know, girls. Yesterday I was all about trying again but then my dr started talking about testing to see why this keeps happening to us (it's only our 2nd miscarriage but I guess 2/3 pregnancies ending like this isn't good) and then I get all freaked out. Being pregnant with our son wasn't a happy time in my life, I was terrified of something bad happening and I can only imagine it'll be worse this time. We have a while to figure it out as my HCG levels take a long time to drop.

The good news is I'm down 6 lbs in a week. Guess stress will do that to a person, huh? Thanks for being there for me, girls! I love all of you so much!

Plan like you will live forever; Live like you will die tomorrow.

KARI22
Posts: 849
9/16/12 7:08 A

Hi - I started spotting yesterday. It's pinkish/orangish. Not a lot but there's more this morning. A bit slimy too. I didn't spot with Caleb but know it's entirely normal so I'm trying to remain positive. It just sucks. The waiting game is the worst.

Plan like you will live forever; Live like you will die tomorrow.

ROBIN5470
Posts: 1912
9/13/12 9:41 A

Kari - I am so happy for you that things look like they are progressing! Sending good vibes! I'm a late ovulator myself.

Robin

Christian Anthony born Jan. 2, 2008 8lbs 5 oz.
EDD 01/02/08
Angel Baby D&C 8/26/06(EDD 3/22/07)
Lindsay
Austin
Cody

SCORPIOJ
Posts: 1060
9/13/12 8:42 A

That's wonderful news Kari! My fingers are crossed and prayers whispered.

KARI22
Posts: 849
9/12/12 9:14 P

So my hormone levels doubled (yeah!) and I'm measuring 5 weeks. According to my last period I should be 6 weeks but if I ovulated a week later (which I could have according to my chart) then it's possible. They didn't see a heartbeat or anything but there's a sack and that's supposed to be normal so my fingers are crossed and we're really hoping for the best! My next appt is on Tuesday morning. She'll do another ultrasound then.

Plan like you will live forever; Live like you will die tomorrow.

KARI22
Posts: 849
9/12/12 4:04 P

The ultrasound is done, waiting for my dr to call. I did see a sack but it didn't look like anything was in it and I couldn't tell if it was in my tubes or uterus.

Holly, I'm really happy to hear your numbers were so low with Addison but so sorry you had to go through that! Will keep everyone posted...

Plan like you will live forever; Live like you will die tomorrow.

SCORPIOJ
Posts: 1060
9/12/12 11:53 A

Kari - it does get better day by day, but you are still right in the middle of the storm, so to speak. You're still not sure what's going on or what's going to happen so I think what you are feeling is normal and to be expected.
As for only having one child, unless that is what you and Tim have decided is best, reserve that conclusion until you have spoken to the Dr. and weighed the risks. Everything happens for a reason ( a cliche, I know, but true) and miscarriage or ectopic pregnancy (if that's what's happening) does not mean you can't have children. These things happen - it sucks, but it's the reality. They happen more than most women know. Thanks to the early detection tests we now know about our pregnancies a lot earlier and therefore we know about more miscarriages when in years past women just thought their period was late.
I don't mean to sound harsh so I really hope you don't take it that way. I just hate to see you feeling so defeated. Remember that God has a plan, and it's not for us to figure out. Maybe you are right and you are only destined to have one child, but whatever is happening now does not necessarily indicate that. Talk to your Dr. before making any definite conclusions. I'm thinking about you and praying for you!

KARI22
Posts: 849
9/12/12 10:28 A

Thanks. It's supposed to get easier day by day, right? But it's not. I'm more weepy as the days go by. Getting used to having only one child is hard. I've just never considered that.

Plan like you will live forever; Live like you will die tomorrow.

ROBIN5470
Posts: 1912
9/12/12 10:15 A

Thinking of you Kari! I hope you get some answers today.

Sending hugs.

Robin

Christian Anthony born Jan. 2, 2008 8lbs 5 oz.
EDD 01/02/08
Angel Baby D&C 8/26/06(EDD 3/22/07)
Lindsay
Austin
Cody

KARI22
Posts: 849
9/11/12 7:29 P

When we started the adoption process 4 years ago, the wait list was 9 months long. So we try to get pregnant and end up with this. I think God might be trying to speak to us.

I really thought I could be stronger this time but last night's emotional breakdown was awful. Today I couldn't leave the house. It's girl's night and I'm home in my sick pjs. At least I was able to pick up some sleeping meds so I'll take one of those soon. Ultrasound tomorrow to see what's going on (if my HCG levels are high enough). Ugh.

Plan like you will live forever; Live like you will die tomorrow.

KARI22
Posts: 849
9/11/12 11:48 A

From what I've read, an IUD can cause ectopic pregnancies. I just wish I would have known that 4 1/2 years ago. I will never go back on any type of b/c again. We'll be using condoms or Tim will be getting snipped. I had a huge breakdown last night. I haven't slept in weeks (I get pregnant insomnia so before my symptoms disappeared a week ago, it was that and now it's stress.) Ugh. I'm just ready for this to be over with. Maybe we are just destined to have one? I need to get used to that idea but it's really hard.

Plan like you will live forever; Live like you will die tomorrow.

SCORPIOJ
Posts: 1060
9/11/12 10:15 A

I wonder if miscarriage is common after coming off the birth control? I imagine it takes some time for the body to adjust.

Whatever the issue, I hope they are able to give you answers soon so you can plan for the next step.

KARI22
Posts: 849
9/10/12 3:59 P

No, they didn't check progesterone because she said that wouldn't matter now. They checked my thyroid. Fingers crossed it's up.

Plan like you will live forever; Live like you will die tomorrow.

ROBIN5470
Posts: 1912
9/10/12 2:46 P

Kari - have they checked your progesterone levels?

I hope you hear something soon.

Hugs

Robin

Christian Anthony born Jan. 2, 2008 8lbs 5 oz.
EDD 01/02/08
Angel Baby D&C 8/26/06(EDD 3/22/07)
Lindsay
Austin
Cody

SCORPIOJ
Posts: 1060
9/10/12 12:09 P

Kari - I'm so sorry. I can only imagine how stressed out you are right now. I have not had an ectopic pregnancy, but they suspected that before Brendan because they could see a blockage. I'm not sure how they handle it when it's so early. I hope you get some answers. Hang in there. We love you and are thinking about you!

ROBIN5470
Posts: 1912
9/10/12 11:21 A

Kari - Oh no. I hope you made it through the weekend okay. My thoughts and prayers are with you. I hope you get the answers that you need from the doctor.

I don't know anything about ectopic pregnancy. I wish I could be more helpful.

Hugs

Robin

Christian Anthony born Jan. 2, 2008 8lbs 5 oz.
EDD 01/02/08
Angel Baby D&C 8/26/06(EDD 3/22/07)
Lindsay
Austin
Cody

KARI22
Posts: 849
9/8/12 11:38 P

Well, my HCG level was up to 468 today, so it only increased about 120 over 48 hours and we were looking for an increase of closer to 345 so it's not looking good. I'm just numb, thinking this can't really be happening again. And an ectopic pregnancy really scares me. I wish it wasn't Saturday so I could go in tomorrow but even if I did go in, the said nothing would show up on a scan until I'm at 1500...which could take weeks at this rate. So how will they diagnose an ectopic pregnancy unless it explodes? I'm scared. :(

Plan like you will live forever; Live like you will die tomorrow.

KARI22
Posts: 849
9/7/12 9:59 P

Hey everybody - I took a HPT last Thursday (the 30th) and got a positive! I'd had some symptoms - sore boobs, tired, tired, tired, and some nausea. Then on Wednesday I was sitting in a meeting at work and suddenly got this sick feeling that something wasn't right. All day my symptoms began to quickly fade. I emailed my dr and she ordered an HCG test. Thursday I was at 365 and today's was 385. I will test again tomorrow and see what happens but it's not looking so great. It's supposed to double in 48 hours so unless there's a huge jump, it appears that I'm either miscarrying or I have an ectopic pregnancy. Have any of you had one of those? I have had pain on my right side for over a week. Nothing bad but it's not really going away. My dr said that could be a sign of an ectopic pregnancy or it could be a cyst, which is very common. Either way, we are feeling pretty sad by all of this. What a whirlwind of emotions. I'm just glad I listened to my body and didn't wait until my appt in 2 weeks. I will talk to my dr on Monday morning and see where we go from here. Thanks for all of your love and support! It is easier the 2nd time around and we're so thankful that we have Caleb. So, so, so very thankful.

Plan like you will live forever; Live like you will die tomorrow.

ROBIN5470
Posts: 1912
8/30/12 3:21 P

Holly - I have been on facebook. I haven't posted a whole lot, but I think I liked a couple of your photos =)

I went through the same emotions with both of my exes. I think it's pretty normal. In the end, I knew for me that I couldn't go back, our relationships weren't healthy enough. You know we will support you no matter what you decide. I wish I could give you a big hug =(

Robin

Christian Anthony born Jan. 2, 2008 8lbs 5 oz.
EDD 01/02/08
Angel Baby D&C 8/26/06(EDD 3/22/07)
Lindsay
Austin
Cody

HOLLYC29
Posts: 2108
8/30/12 2:46 P

Ok, I'll mark that on my calendar and start looking at flights. I think Julia is here the week after though..ugh!
I havent seen Robin on FB lately...wonder where she is...where are you Robin???
How is school going w/ Brendan???
Kari.how are you???
So Mike has had NO discussions w/ me about the divorce...at all. we've talked about Addison, he's been pretty good about helping w/ money.
I told him yesterday about a guy staying @ a house by me and that he had Illinois plates one day..the comps came one day and he wasnt there , but they talked to another guy living there...made him open his car,etc.
Now the guy has Ohio plates..just shady.
Anyway..he text me last night and said "doy ou want me to come over and stay?" I said "no, but thank you.." and then he said "are you sure you want to go Friday?"
I didnt have a clue what to say. Mostly because Im worried that now we wont get along and we have...but I knwo I'll hurt him all over again if I say yes. It would be so easy just to go back to the way things were. I wouldnt have to share time w/ Addison or worry about $$, but in the end I know its never going to work...its just so hard and so sad! =(
PLUS IM pmsing....so Im afraid I'll go to the attny w/ him tomrorow and ball the whole time...=(
I need prayers and support girls!! IM really struggling!!! Love you girls!!!

ITS A GIRL!!! Addison Brooke
m/c #1 August 13, 2006 EDD March 17, 2007
m/c #2 January 7, 2007 EDD Sept 9, 2007

SCORPIOJ
Posts: 1060
8/22/12 5:30 P

Holly - the last date I got from Colleen was the weekend of 12/7. I don't know if that is still the case, but that is the day I have VC scheduled.
It looks like your vacation was fun. Funny how vacations change after having kids.
I understand how you feel about wondering if you could make it work. I have thought about that many, many times, but then, just like with you, Tim will do something to remind me why I'm not married to him anymore. He hasn't changed and probably never will. I don't know if he is seeing that girl. I just assume he is screwing someone. It's easier that way.
I also understand about not wanting to rock the boat, but both of you need closure and to be able to move on and be legally protected.

Kari - It took me 12 months to get pregnant with Liam. Try to be patient. Easier said than done, I know.. it will happen when it's supposed to. In the mean time I'm praying for you and sending lots of sticky baby dust your way. Enjoy the BDing! =)

HOLLYC29
Posts: 2108
8/21/12 2:00 P

Kari..I read that book. Are you charting your temps?? Its a pain in the a$$, but it works!!!
I also used a site online fertility friend..and that helped. ITs time consuming, but if you dont want to juts "wait it out" its the way to go!
I took Addison to Sesame Place and Hershey, PA w/ my mom and step dad. We had fun, but it was a bit disappointing when I had planned for the beach for 6 months..oh well.
Addison had fun. She did ask one time "where's dada??" and she kept saying "dada, roro, dada, roro..." so she knew her great grandma and Mike werent there. She amazes me!!
She smiles when he's around, but usually wants me and she never cries when he leaves, but she doesnt do taht too much w/ me..just sometimes.
I was so upset for 2 days because he wanted her overnight and then he bailed...so I dont know why I let it bother me so much. Sunday we went to a festival and met up w/ all of our friends and then yesterday I cried all day (lack of sleep, back at work, and just stress...) and actually thought "what if...' and then he pulled up in a brand new truck and al those feelings turned to anger. He is almost 35 living w/ his parents and goes and buys a truck??? He'll never change and I know Im doing the right thing!! Its just so hard. I almost just want it to stay this way and not go see the attny..because Im afraid it will rock the boat and then he'll start not cooperating..we'll see.
Jamie..how are things w/ you and Tim?? Is he still seeing that girl? Robin..how are you??? anything new??? December is coming quickly...I might send the other girls an email to lock down dates becasue I'll have to start saving...if Im coming to Texas!!!

ITS A GIRL!!! Addison Brooke
m/c #1 August 13, 2006 EDD March 17, 2007
m/c #2 January 7, 2007 EDD Sept 9, 2007

KARI22
Posts: 849
8/12/12 11:08 P

Hello - I'm sad reading about all of your husband problems but you know it has to be better for your kids to see you all happy and you can't be that way with guys who aren't treating you well.

We are still working on the making a baby deal. Man, it's frustrating! I'm in the process of reading "Taking Charge of Your Fertility" or something like that...and it's a really great book! So many things I'm like, "Dang! Why didn't I know that about my body?!" Fascinating even if we weren't TTC, I think. And the whole fact that we could have followed this method instead of using an IUD would have been great too. I think the after effects of the IUD is still really messing with my body. Last month I had really sore boobs for about 10 days. It stopped and then my period started on day 30. I've had two 30 day cycles, which is odd in itself because before we conceived Caleb, my cycles were between 30-45 days but never the same two months in a row. We'll just see, I guess! :)

Plan like you will live forever; Live like you will die tomorrow.

SCORPIOJ
Posts: 1060
8/7/12 5:21 P

Holly, I know it's hard and I feel for you. You're right though. It will get easier. Does Addison show any emotion when Mike picks her up or when he leaves? Liam doesn't really seem to notice when Tim isn't there. Sometimes he'll say "Dada?" but I just say Daddy's as work, or Daddy's at his house and he goes on with whatever he was doing. Brendan is a little harder as he will whine and say he misses his daddy or that he wants to see him.
Do I assume his family and your family now know what's going on? Are you taking Addison with you on vacation? How did your family react? Is his family being understanding towards you or are they making it tough?

HOLLYC29
Posts: 2108
8/7/12 4:06 P

Oh girls...damn I hate this!
Although I agree w/ Jamie...Robin its probably best Tony stays away. It sounds like he wasnt great w/ Christian anyway. Im sure he loved him, but that doesnt make a good dad!
Mike and i have been doing ok...but we only communicate through text or emails.
He leaves for vacation this weekend and so do I, so we'll have a week apart. I do ok w/ Wednesday and Thursday because he picks her up from the sitter and brings her home, but the Sunday visits are the hardest on me becasue he literally comes and takes her from the house...and I get upset. I try to stay busy and use it as "me" time, but I end up watching the clock and waiting for her to get home.
I know as time goes on we'll all adjust. Im HOPING when we get back we can get in to see the attny right away. I want this done before the 1st of the year...and we will have to still have two court dates and take a class on parenting while divorced..fun times!
Im so happy I have other people to talk to about this though!!! I love you girls!

ITS A GIRL!!! Addison Brooke
m/c #1 August 13, 2006 EDD March 17, 2007
m/c #2 January 7, 2007 EDD Sept 9, 2007

SCORPIOJ
Posts: 1060
8/6/12 10:19 A

Robin - Tony moving may just be the best thing. Hopefully now you can give Christian some consistancy and not have to worry about the crap Tony pulled with him. I really hope things get easier for you. I think about you a lot and wish I could help.

Holly - I'm sure Mike does care and probably is hurt by all of this, but he's protecting himself by trying to be tough. I agree that you shouldn't give him the money until everything is finalized and even then, document that you gave it to him. Try to get everything agreed to and signed as soon as possible before he has too much time to talk to people and think.

Tim doesn't really try to get back with me, but he doesn't have to at this point. I make it so easy for him to come over and see the kids when he wants and I'm always around. We still sleep together sometimes. He has made a couple comments that makes me think that he thinks we will eventually get back together but I don't think so. While I will never say never, I know that right now I have no desire to be in a relationship with him. I'm not in love with him, and I don't trust him as far as I can throw him. I just make it easy for him because, honestly, it makes things easier for me. He's around to help give the kids their baths and put them to bed, and keep them entertained while I cook. It also means he's there for the boys and they are happy. Brendan really misses him the days he's not over. I know it can't stay like this forever, and I don't want it to. It's only a matter of time before one of us starts seing someone else and then I'm sure we won't spend so much time together. We probably won't get along as well either since I'm sure there will be resentment and hurt feelings, but for now things are OK the way they are.

Colleen - what is your MyfitnessPal name?

HOLLYC29
Posts: 2108
8/1/12 9:58 A

It sucks we're all going through this crap...but we're strong and we'll make it!!! =)
Robin..he still tries to get back w/ you?~!?
Jamie, does Tim?
Mike is acting like he could care less if he talks to me, sees me, etc....
My friend (that saw him out the weekend I told him I was done) says he's 'devestated' and was really sad, but I think thats just because he was sad he had to move nad start over.
I LOVE having the house to myself and just taking care of Addison and I. I cant even imagine being in a relationship again, at this point! Whew!!!
I have most things settled w/ him for the attny , when he gets back from vacation...and HOPEFULLY it will get filed soon...I HOpe to have this all done before Christmas!! We'll see.
I told him I'd give him $1k when this is all done, and of course he's asking for it now...which is my only assurance he'll go along w/ things so no way!!!
I just feel so bad that our kids have to grow up w/ daddy's that dont want to grow up at all! =(

ITS A GIRL!!! Addison Brooke
m/c #1 August 13, 2006 EDD March 17, 2007
m/c #2 January 7, 2007 EDD Sept 9, 2007

ROBIN5470
Posts: 1912
7/30/12 1:43 P

Jamie - I filed for child support last year, I do get it, but haven't received it this month and should have received it this morning. He doesn't talk to me or return my e-mails, so I think it's pointless to try and ask him about this month. If I haven't gotten it within a couple of weeks, I will contact the child support enforcement division.

That's great that your vacation went well and you were strong enough to handle being around him like that. I don't think I could do it. Only because anytime I am remotely nice to Tony he tries to get back in.

Holly - It sounds like you are holding up rather well. Do you have lots of support? Staying busy does help. Stay strong. It does get easier. It takes a while, but it does.

I'm still working on trying to fill out the paperwork so I can file for divorce on my own without an attorney. The paperwork is a bit confusing. I also don't have an address on him now that he moved. He works at Gordman's and transfered to the one in Tulsa. He lived there when we met and he seems to think Tulsa is the be all end all of places to live. I don't get it. He hated Kansas City and has been wanting to move back there for a while, I'm surprised it took him this long.

Robin

Christian Anthony born Jan. 2, 2008 8lbs 5 oz.
EDD 01/02/08
Angel Baby D&C 8/26/06(EDD 3/22/07)
Lindsay
Austin
Cody

HOLLYC29
Posts: 2108
7/30/12 1:15 P

yes! I definitely need to know what weekend and start saving!!!
Jamie..I was wondering how vaca went. We were supposed to be going to the beach in two weeks w/ his sister and her family and I am not going. Im going to PA to Sesame Place w/ Addison and meeting my mom and step dad. Im so bummed. I havent been to a beach in so long, but...it just would be too awkward right now.
Mike moved out last Saturday...and I did ok. Sunday was the first time he picked her up..and i did ok. I cried at first, but I just kept super busy! He's acting like he really could care less...eventhough his friends say differently, but its making it easier on me! The emotions of it all have died down...Im sure once we have to see the attny they will be back. I have all the paperwork and its filled out . NOw I just schedule something for us both to go in and meet w/ her to go over everything. Then we have to take a class on divorce and kids adn then she files everything...so we'll see.
The house is much calmer and quiet and I dont wake up pi$$ed of anymore! =)
I think we're all going to be ok..its just getting through the hard stuff now.
Hows everyone else???

ITS A GIRL!!! Addison Brooke
m/c #1 August 13, 2006 EDD March 17, 2007
m/c #2 January 7, 2007 EDD Sept 9, 2007

SCORPIOJ
Posts: 1060
7/28/12 6:02 P

Hi Ladies,

Colleen, please let me know when you know for sure what weekend you will be here so I can keep it clear.

Robin, Have you contacted your state attorney's office to see if you can file for child support even though you are not divorced? Since he moved out of state you may be able to file abandonment.

Holly, has Mike said anything else about the papers you gave him? Has he moved out? I know my biggest fear was Brendan changing his sweet, good personality. I think that's why I've tried so hard to keep things normal by having Tim around so much. I just worry that it may make things harder in the future. We did take vacation together to go see Tims Mom. It wasn't as wierd as you might think. His friend also came down so Tim spent most of the time with his friend and I spent most of my time with the kids and his Mom. It was nice.

ROBIN5470
Posts: 1912
7/24/12 2:20 P

Sorry double posted

Edited by: ROBIN5470 at: 7/24/2012 (14:21)

Robin

Christian Anthony born Jan. 2, 2008 8lbs 5 oz.
EDD 01/02/08
Angel Baby D&C 8/26/06(EDD 3/22/07)
Lindsay
Austin
Cody

ROBIN5470
Posts: 1912
7/24/12 2:20 P

Holly - I am so sorry you are going through this with Mike. I haven't checked on here in a while, I knew you were contemplating, but didn't realize this was definite yet. It's a tough road, but you will be happier later on. I'm here if you need support.

Tony moved to Oklahoma about a month ago. He hasn't seen Christian yet, but does call him almost daily at the babysitters. I think Christian is doing better because his schedule isn't getting all messed up like it was when his dad was taking him. I still don't have an address on Tony but I do know there is no way I will let him take Christian until I get one.

The kids are doing good. I can't wait for Lindsay to not be a teenager, but I still have a few years =). Austin is a senior this year, so he is getting excited about his future. Cody became manager at McDonalds. I am happy for him. He's grown up alot in the past few months.

Kari - Good luck on ttc. Keeping my fingers crossed for you.

Jamie - You are doing so great on your weight loss! How are the kids doing? I see you are on vacation with Tim. How is that going?

Colleen - I didn't know you lost both of your parents. I lost my dad about two months ago. It is still hard for me to wrap my head around the fact that he is gone.

Robin

Christian Anthony born Jan. 2, 2008 8lbs 5 oz.
EDD 01/02/08
Angel Baby D&C 8/26/06(EDD 3/22/07)
Lindsay
Austin
Cody

ROBIN5470
Posts: 1912
7/24/12 2:19 P

Robin

Christian Anthony born Jan. 2, 2008 8lbs 5 oz.
EDD 01/02/08
Angel Baby D&C 8/26/06(EDD 3/22/07)
Lindsay
Austin
Cody

COLDEN
Posts: 1456
7/22/12 12:53 P

Okay, caught up :)

Holly, so sorry you are having to take the road of divorce. We never wan that for ourselves. However, if Mike is not making you happy, then it is for the best. Addison needs a secure, happy Mom! My Dad always said that he did not care who I married, as long as he makes me laugh more than he makes me cry!!
On a happier note, Addison is such a gorgeous little girl, and looks like she has a lot of spunk. I am sure she adds a lot of light in your life.

Holly, so sorry you are going through a rough time too. I could not see to find the post of you losing a parent! If you did, I am very sorry. I have lost both my parents, so I know what heartache it causes.

Kari,

on the TTC again. You and Tim look like fantastic parents, and I am sure Caleb will make an awesome big brother. Sending sticky pixie dust your way.
It is shocking what happened in Denver. Did you know any-one who was there?

Jamie, Congrats on the weight loss!! I know how hard it is, so I applaud you. The new pic you posted of you new hair, you are looking stunning! So glad you are doing something for you. I am also on myfitnesspal.com, so we should become friends :)

Plans for the US are coming along. Things are filling up fast, so the only weekends that we have open are 7 December and maybe 14 December. Denys and I are planning to go to New Orleans too. We are not driving any more, so will be flying in to Texas. What are your thoughts? Opinions? Who is close to New Orleans, Atlanta or Orlando?

Anyway I have chatted enough.

Hope you are all well

Emma - 26 Sep 2007, 3.3 kg, 51cm

Kate - 23 Feb 2009, 3.6kg, 50cm

mc - November 2006
missed mc - August 2006

HOLLYC29
Posts: 2108
7/20/12 12:22 P

Hi there.
Well, she just helped outline her thoughts on the house, child support,e tc.
I plan on trying to do a dissolution, so we would need her because I want to make sure I do everything I have to , to protect myself down the line...
A dissolution in OH is just basically we agree upon everything and then they draw up the papers, file everything, and just guide us through the process...
Its going to cost about $1000, which Im willing to pay...so he wouldnt have to pay anything out of pocket. Unless he starts fighting me and then I'll file and he'll be served papers and I feel like that would be the dramatic way to go. Its 1500 just to get the lawyer on retainer at that point. I dont want that. He's ignoring everything basically and acting the victim, which is what I expected.
I did give him the list of things we have to agree or compromise on...and he looked it over and then left last night, so Im assuming he took it to discuss w/ his sister. I hope she can talk some sense into him...he said yesterday he doesnt think he should have to pay child support because I make way more than him...ugh!
I MAY owe him spousal support, if we go the divorce route...so Im hoping that doesnt happen. I swear he just screws me on money over and over again!! I guess you can never day never, but I can promise you that I'd be more cauteous about taking on someone else's financial problems in the fugure. Its just one thing after another. Unfotunately he has no idea how much the bills are or how much it costs to have a home, child, etc...so Im concerned he's really going to fall on his face a few times before he "gets it", but I keep telling myself its not my problem anymore. I'm sick to my stomach constantly adn cant eat...I just want to vomit everytime I think about him taking her w/o me or keeping her...its going to be awful. I never wanted this for her. She is such a silly/happy little girl...I hope that never changes!!!
Thanks for all of yoru support..how is everyone else?!?

ITS A GIRL!!! Addison Brooke
m/c #1 August 13, 2006 EDD March 17, 2007
m/c #2 January 7, 2007 EDD Sept 9, 2007

SCORPIOJ
Posts: 1060
7/16/12 11:20 A

Holly - How did the appointment with the atorney go? Did it put your mind at ease any or make you more nervous? I did everything without an attorney. It was stressfull, but I think it helped keep things peaceful.

HOLLYC29
Posts: 2108
7/16/12 11:06 A

Thanks, Jamie!
Im so happy for you, that you're feeling great!
I'm with you...could you ever trust him again?!? Do you think he's changed?
MIke hasnt changed on bit..even when I told him why Im divorcing him he's still doing the same things he's always done. He'll never change and it just confirms my decision.
I know you're right about the emotions and I am trying and trying to keep them in check. i keep reminding myself that you catch more flies w/ honey. I hope and pray I can continue to just move along and keep the peace. I do not want Addison to ever remember this time in her life and I certainly dont want it to affect her and change her silly, fun, social personality that she has. Its going to be a rough road, but Im hopeful that in the end I can look back and know that everything will be ok!
Kari..any news so far???
Robin..how are you doing? Whats new w/ Tony and the kids?!?
Love you all!
xoxo

ITS A GIRL!!! Addison Brooke
m/c #1 August 13, 2006 EDD March 17, 2007
m/c #2 January 7, 2007 EDD Sept 9, 2007

SCORPIOJ
Posts: 1060
7/13/12 3:08 P

Hi Ladies,

Wow, I've missed a lot. First, thank you all for the kind words. I am feeling really great about this weightloss journey I am on. It is exactly what I needed to get me out of my depression after the divorce. Tim is still around a lot. Probably more than he should be, but he helps with the kids and they remain close so I'm ok with it for now. I do wonder if it will make it harder on the kids later down the road though. I think Tim has it in his mind that we may get back together at some point in the future. While I won't say never, I just don't see it happening. I'm simply not in love with him anymore and I can't imagine being in a place where I ever trust him again.

Holly, I'm sorry you are looking at the same road. It's a tough decision to make. If you do choose this path there is one piece of advise I would give and that is that when it comes to Addison, put all your emotions for Mike aside and do what is best for her. It's important for her to have both parents in her life, but it will be really hard if she sees you guys fighting or using her against the other person.
When emotions are hot it's really hard not to do anything you can to hurt the other person, but I can tell you... if you can avoid doing all the bad things you will want to do to him or say to him, things will be a lot easier when all is said and done. I'm here if you need to talk. Good luck with your appointment.

Kari, How exciting that you and Tim are trying to conceive again! Praying for you and hoping that when it does happen, it's a lot easier on your body than the last one. Like Robin said, every pregnancy is different. Keep us posted!

Love you girls!

KARI22
Posts: 849
7/11/12 5:21 P

Praying for you, Holly!

Plan like you will live forever; Live like you will die tomorrow.

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