Unbiased opinion?!??!

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DOMINA93
Posts: 477
10/31/12 11:30 A

Also, daycare isn't your only option. My husband and I are both active duty. Our daughter didn't go to daycare. She has an au pair (sort of like a live in nanny) so she has received one on one attention. For socialization, we put her in gym groups or took her to the playground.

And I think your choice is tough but there are a variety of options. It is fun to be with them, but I think any quality time with them is good. I do know of people with clearances that did work part time, still did the au pair thing (that is how I was introduced)k and managed to spend quality time.

When I retire in 11 months, I still plan on working, to pay our bills, despite this new baby coming along. And plan on lots of quality time around the work.

Jen

MINIBW
Posts: 427
10/30/12 8:17 P

Reading what you wrote I think you answered your own question.
If your making a decision for your children and want all those things for them. You also say that you do not "want to start at the bottom (good luck w/ any job not starting there), then you are really just asking if we agree that you should go back to work.
From what you’re saying I would go back to work. You do not want to look back on your life regretting later or blaming your spouse that you got out and gave up everything for the family/them.
V/R
Active Duty & PG

Sea Monkey

LYDIALAND
Posts: 5161
9/3/10 1:31 P

Why don't you just take 6 months off and be a SAHM and then look for work. Your clearance will still be active and you would have been home for a good amount of time.

Honestly, SAHM is not for everyone and you might find you need something more. This was my case. I LOVED spending more time with my daughter but I missed working and being in an 'adult' envirnoment. After a year of being unemployed I finally got a job that was close and decent paying. NOW Im pregnant! LOL I will probably work through this pregnancy and then stay home the first first year before finding work again.

I like contributing to our finances too. Although my DH never once complained about me not working I can definately sense the releif that the responsibility is not all on him.

So test the water staying home and see if its for you. If after 6 months you love it and really want to stay home then do so. If not then you've given yourself ample time to look for employment. Although it is tough out there to find a decent paying job... even with a degree! Most companies would rather hire an intern or entry level than pay for experience! It sucks job searching and seeing the wages some of these places are trying to offer!

RUNNING4TWO
Posts: 10
8/27/10 10:14 A

i am still active duty and i constantly think about what i will do once my obligation is up. as for your clearance, as far as i know, a contracting company has to renew your clearance anyway, they just hire people with current military clearances because they are guaranteed to pass the background check. therefore, even if yours expires, you are still a better candidate than someone who has never had a clearance.

otherwise, if you guys can financially manage, i would stay at home! i guess it's the years of deployment in me saying that, but the idea of staying home with my kids and my hubby supporting the family seems like heaven! but i also know i'd go crazy within weeks and want to get working again.

basically i wouldn't go back to work for the sole reason that your clearance is going to expire. if you miss working, you think you would love the job, etc. it's a different story.

good luck!

PETREE5
Posts: 2446
8/25/10 3:32 P

I think it all comes down to what is most important for you.

I understand wanting to stay home with your kids but is that what is best for your family? Do you think you get a part time job in your field? That might help you make up your mind. Or, you could work part time and have the best of both worlds :).

MOMMIE_OF_TWO
Posts: 20
8/25/10 1:42 P

Ok....so I just got out of the military with baby #2 a couple of months ago. We couldn't risk both being deployed with a (now) 20 month old and a 4 month old. I loved my job, but I don't regret my decision. My hubby says he supports me being a SAHM if I want or going back to work as a "civilian" in my old career field. Here is the dilemma (I need an unbiased opinion here!!!)

I can stay at home with my 2 boys, getting to spend every day with them, maybe find a playgroup occasionally, and go back to work when they start school. I have a BS to fall back on but I'd have to start at the bottom again or might be lucky enough to get a job working as a contractor in my "military job", but my clearance will have expired and it makes me a whole lot less desirable once that happens.

Or....

I can try and go ahead back to work now while my security clearance is still active and potentially get a really nice job that pays well, put the kiddos in daycare (good for socialization), but I wouldn't get to see them as much.

I really would love to stay home with them (selfish reasons??) and enjoy this time while they are still little, but I don't want to end up with some crappy lil job I hate in 4-5 years when I go back to work. I don't want to be in the situation where I don't have options! Also, I would love to start putting away some money for their college, have enough extra to give them nice Christmas's, be able to take some vacations...... If I stay home, we can make it, but with no frills, no vacations, pretty much no eating out or date nights or anything extra.

So pretty much...I'm at a crossroad and I can't decide!!!
=Stay home, be with my kids, no money for anything else, and potential for crappy job later?
=Go to work, kids in daycare and don't spend all day with them, get nice job, pay off bills and have extra $ to do fun things, but miss the time with them?

I have to decide soon as my clearance expires in less than a year. Maybe not even that long. I need to look up some dates...but really really soon. My hubby won't weigh in because he is afraid to influence my decision (he just wants me to be happy).

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