WOW, this poor woman is venting and half you guys are jumping all over her a**. telling her not to complain, to plan better, we have the right to complain a couple times a year for the love of god. we have a lot to deal with. she never said she wasn't proud of her husband!! and you can't plan for crap when you are in the military. she is having a rough time. she is preg. and is asking for support and understanding. every one of us has felt similar at some point. if you can't be supportive you shouldn't post!!! this web site is to give support, not to put people down and make them feel worse! did you guys think maybe she is frustrated for her husband about how much he is missing.... I'm sure she loves all the free birth, low cost insurance and BAH. but you know at times you just can't think past what you are feeling at that moment to factor in those things
Edited by: KSM417 at: 3/2/2009 (09:03)
Baylee Alexandra
born 10-17-07
AWCBABY2
Posts: 6
2/28/09 11:20 A
The army can be a nightmare, but it is full of fantastic benefits, too. Free education, healthcare, the ability to travel...It does suck, though, too. My husband left a week before x-mas for 12 month deployment to afghanistan. New baby is due in May, so he will miss it completely. He left for a years worth of training when our oldest was 3 months old. It is hard, especially when your hubby has one of "those jobs" where everyone thinks it is pie (ag officer) and when the reality is he is the s1 for a cavalry battalion and is gone just as much as everyone else, if not more, because he does all of the paperwork. I am grateful every day, though, that the army has provided us with a good life where we can provide well for our children and we can both continue our educations. That being said, sometimes I wanna scream with frustration at the absolute stupidity of army policies sometimes, especially housing waiting lists!!!
LILLY.MAMII.04
Posts: 2074
2/18/09 1:25 P
pp, LOVE it
BHINES4
Posts: 48
2/12/09 11:56 A
I think it is sad that some wives are so dependant on their husbands that all they can do is complain about their jobs...if you are truly unhappy then you should discuss the problem among each other.
We are going on 8 years in the Army, and we wouldn't want it any other way. There are ways around certain things, but soldiers deploy, that is a part of the job description...I hate too sound harsh, and I truly understand needing to vent, but you should have known what you were getting into before you got into it...resonable complaints would be about how they increase BAH, but keep you in the same house, and don't upgrade the old and restrict new housing to senior class officers...field problems are not really a problem because they are stateside and for the most part out of harms way.
I just urge you to have more patience with the military and do the best you can. If you truly hate the benefits, such as free child birth and extremely cheap family health and dental insurance, no electric, heating/AC, or water bills, then talk to your husband about making a career change.
Good luck with your pregnancies...I wish you all the best.
BROTCHENGAL
Posts: 1858
1/22/09 10:30 A
DLO648, I hope that your DH is able to come and be with you for your birth. I know how you feel being on pins and needles about them being there or not. I'll keep my fingers crossed for you!
*Michelle*
DS was born on May 30th, 2007 at 8:47am - 4 days early
8 lbs 5 oz and 20.5 inches long
MC 6/20/2009 (5 wks 5 days)
DS #2 was born on May 23rd, 2010 at 4:20pm - 1 day early
8 lbs 8 oz and 21 inches long
Baby Girl #3 born: 9/10/2011 at 10:44am - 2 days late
9lbs 7oz and 21 inches long
DLO648
Posts: 9
1/21/09 6:52 P
LOL I think at times we all feel like we have bad luck. Just cause of the timing. My hubby is gone right now out in the field. Doing what they do best. Yes training. HE was gone out in the field when I went into labor with our four yr old son. Guess what. He leaves again in Feb. thru the end of March. Yeah great timing huh. So guess I will be doing another phone call to see if they get him back here when i do go into labor.Lucky for me he was able to be with me last two times. I am crossing my fingers on this one.
Edited by: DLO648 at: 1/21/2009 (18:53)
BROTCHENGAL
Posts: 1858
1/21/09 5:57 P
I agree. You can't always pick the job, the location or any of that stuff. And honestly, even if you are in a non-deployable location there is a ton of other BS that you have to deal with. Like, oh say your DH works 18 hour days and has hardly any days off. Or send him away TDY for a month when you're 35 weeks pregnant to a training that could have easily been rescheduled. These are my personal experiences. So not always does the Army fit in with a "plan" or what you want. I know it's hard, but I believe that being a military spouse does make you stronger! Just remember that you have a TON of support behind you and look into your family programs that you have if you need a "break" or someone to talk to (Army Community Services, Military Family Life Consultants, Military One Source, etc.). I know a lot of what's out there, so if you'd like please feel free to MM me and hopefully I can tell you some good places to go.
Edited by: BROTCHENGAL at: 1/21/2009 (17:59)
*Michelle*
DS was born on May 30th, 2007 at 8:47am - 4 days early
8 lbs 5 oz and 20.5 inches long
MC 6/20/2009 (5 wks 5 days)
DS #2 was born on May 23rd, 2010 at 4:20pm - 1 day early
8 lbs 8 oz and 21 inches long
Baby Girl #3 born: 9/10/2011 at 10:44am - 2 days late
9lbs 7oz and 21 inches long
DLO648
Posts: 9
1/21/09 10:34 A
I completly agree. You cant always plan what you want your Husbands job to be in the military. Can you imagine, no one would be over seas. Everyone (most of everyone) would want there hubby to be here at home to help with the kids and the house. My husband got back may of last yr from his third tour to Iraq. My husband is Infanatry so it is not that easy to get a Tradoc assignment ( yes we did Try) and well we go orders to go to Ft Lewis. Were there for only five months now here we are at ft benning. Army is just the Army. Sucks yeah, but it really sucks when we as wifes cant change what the army says or does.
Edited by: DLO648 at: 1/21/2009 (10:36)
SHERIFF_JAMIE
Posts: 1698
1/14/09 3:04 P
BJHOLT07 I dunno how long your husband has been in or how many times you guys have come down on orders, but you do know that sometimes when you reenlist to go somewhere that's only gurenteed for a year? When DH reenlisted the last time to change duty stations, we were only at the new duty station for 13 months before we came down on orders. You can't always plan everything, if the army needs you somewhere, that's where you go.
Benjamin Richard 6/27/2007
Connor Eugene 1/17/2003
MOMMY-OF-ANGELS
Posts: 479
1/14/09 12:28 P
Please don't take this the wrong way, but don't chastise someone for not "planning better" when really someone just wants a place to vent or a shoulder to lean on during a tough time.
Besides, despite even the best of efforts everything does not go according to plan.
Aleina Skye
January 3, 2012
7 lbs, 1 oz
20.5 inches
Alexander Blair
April 6, 2008
7 lbs, 15 oz
20 inches
BJHOLT07 BabyPoints:2220
Posts: 271
1/14/09 10:09 A
You need to plan your husband's career better and when you have children. My husband was home the whole pregnancy and the first 2 years with our first child. We went to a TRADOC post where they only do training. So you are non deployable. We got pregnant on R&R this time. He will miss the pregnancy but will be home for 18 months. Plus this is his 2nd deployment with this unit so he is getting a break and will be an instructor for at least two years. I know it sucks, but the Army is a game. You have to learn how to play it. Use re-enlistments to move to non deploying places, or get in to a comfy job. Don't read this and think well her husband has that type of job, my husband is a tanker and has been in for 10 years.
Edited by: BJHOLT07 at: 1/14/2009 (16:21)
SEARL731
Posts: 171
1/6/09 4:09 P
I feel the same way it sucks big time.
Susie
SUNSHINE4606
Posts: 424
12/16/08 11:35 P
So my husband got back from deployment about a year ago and since then it has been training, horse and pony show in Germany, training, and oh yeah by the way training. The deploy again window is May to August and guess what Feb to May is you guessed it training. I'm about 3 months pregnant at this point and once all the training is done he once again will have missed the second pregnancy for the most part and I'll be left AGAIN for the first year to raise our 2nd child alone while dealing with my lovely daughter who is pushing boundaries so much it baffles me like snow in July. I'm getting so frustrated I know this is the life of a military wife I just wish we could get a break every other child or something. I think I'm about 5sec from giving Company Commander a piece of my mind.
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