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Too Young for Kindergarten?

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ZSERABEAR
Posts: 13196
2/15/11 4:34 P

Our cut off is 9/30 so Lyla misses it by a week. I am really not sure if she would be ready or me for that matter!

Noah 7/8/03
Lyla 10/7/06
Abigail- 2/28/10

M/C 6/9/08- Before I knew you, I loved you

JENNIESJOY
Posts: 5068
2/13/11 7:15 A

I think it's weird that they wouldn't take him again-- but even if they do, I see your point Veronica... why do the same material again? But I also see why you wouldn't just want to do nothing. Kindergarten might be the best option afterall (in my opinion). Even if your district doesn't do pre-first, repeating kindergarten isn't a big deal-- if needed. He might just do great! :)
Yes, where is that manual?? :)

LOVEMYBABEES
Posts: 6025
2/13/11 1:45 A

I'll have to find out for sure if they wouldn't take him - but even if they did, not sure how comfortable I am with him repeating the same material again. We can't afford private preschool, so it's public or nothing at all...I think we've made our decision though and we'll see how things turn out. I think being an involved parent will give me a more open and perhaps quicker view of how he's doing in kinder. All we can do is try and give him what we think is best for him and be there for him if and when he needs us. Parenting is hard, no one ever told me how difficult it was! WHERE'S THAT MANUAL?!?!?! LOL

TINKOS
Posts: 6018
2/13/11 12:37 A

Hmmmm....why wouldn't they take him? I'm struggling w/ that! It sux that Jax is doing 3 years of preschool but I'd be quite iritated if they said he couldn't go for the 3rd year at all. I'm so sorry you are in such a frustrating position! I would probably send him with that factor. Worst case scenario, he could repeat kindergarten. One mom at Jax's school was having the same situation but they set up a program for kids on the border to go for half days so she's going to let her daughter try it out for half days. I hope you can figure out whats best for yoou guys. Maybe you could set up an appointment and meet with the school to get a better feel to help your final decision.?.?..?.?
Mel - I'm sure Steven is going to love preschool. Which district are you in???

Edited by: TINKOS at: 2/13/2011 (00:38)

STEVENSMOMMY
BabyPoints: 4916
Posts: 1202
2/12/11 12:46 A

Tina, I believe the new thought it to have full day K here starting Fall 2012.

I am interested in how Steven will be once he finally gets to start Preschool in 4 weeks. I am going to start him off 2 days a week in the 4's class (afternoon)...then next year he will go M-R afternoons. his development has really spurted this week...and i am thinking the extra O2 he helping his brain function and things are finally clicking.

We are going to play by ear with Callie, but i am not going to rush her. i can tell now she may be ready early, as at 18 months she knows her basic shapes and letters, but we will see how she does in preschool.

Mel

Steven
10/3/06
7lbs 2ozs, 20.5in
Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome
First open heart surgery 10/5
Second Open heart surgery 10/17
Heart Cath with Ballooning of Aorta 1/30/07
Third Open heart surgery 2/21/07
Heart Cath with Stints in Left Pulmonary Artery
8/15/10

"half a heart, not half a life"

Callie
7/27/2009

TINKOS
Posts: 6018
2/12/11 12:39 A

I feel you Beth! I so understand we don't want our kids to get bored with learning. Hopefully they will have a good teacher that can challenge them in other ways. I feel they play a huge part, as does the school district, in programs and wanting to take the time to help a child blossom. I think I'm changing Jax's preschool in the fall for this reason too. He's learning but I don't feel he's being challenged and "prepped" for school. UGH. If only our kids came with manuals! It would make this path sooo much easier.
So you guys don't have half day Kindergarten? It's interesting to see where they do and don't have it. Most schools in MA were half day. Dayton OH had both depending on which district you were in. They don't offer it here in IL either and their days are long...the bus picks them up at 735 and they get dropped off at 3. Jax would be miserable come Thurs/Fri. LOL Thats the other huge factor he's not ready. And seriously, this college business is really no fun! I'm now understanding the concept, the bigger the age, the bigger the problems.

BETH81392
Posts: 8131
2/11/11 10:19 P

Tina,

I would LOVE 1/2 day kindergarten. We have already been told PreK is not apropriate for Abby anymore (by the school director) but I fear that she will just continue to be bored. It is a hard decision. THe closer I get to sending Abby to Kindergarten the more hesitant I become. I want her to love learning as much as she does now.

Profile Shot- Abigail pretending to be a water molecule

"I know of nobody who is purely Autistic or purely neurotypical. Even God had some Autistic moments, which is why the planets all spin."

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TINKOS
Posts: 6018
2/11/11 8:29 P

My first thought to this is, is it a full day program or half day? Id be more inclined if it were a half day but each school district is different.
Now....here is the other flip side to this. Keep in mind, I started when I was 4 cos waaaay back in the day, the cut off was Dec 31st. W/ that said, I have one that just finished high school. His bday is in July. I really wish he had another year of high school because he's NOT ready for what he's dealing with now. My nephew is an oct baby as well and 2 mos younger than Tyler and is a sr this year. He is in a much better mind set than Tyler is, IMO. Seeing this end of things, I am not in a rush to start Jax this year at all. Hope that is food for thought for you.
Each kid is different so do what your mama gut tells ya!

CARYNMB
Posts: 5969
2/9/11 10:14 A

I agree with Jennie, if he does start and doesn't seem to be doing well socially, just repeat. If there is a grade to repeat, it's Kindergarten. It's such a foundational year, and it's better to repeat that year, then to get behind and then have to repeat one year down the road. It won't hurt him to have two years of Kindergarten! And hopefully, he'll do great, and there will be no worries. :)

I hope you know I didn't mean that no child should ever start that early.. it's just my opinion that it's generally better to wait. Some children do great with it!

And I would also be interested to hear Renee's research on the subject! :)

~Caryn~
www.inspiringbirth.com

Carter Jackson 10/19/06
Sydney Nicole 12/11/08
Caleb Asher 9/1/10
Shelby Morgan 2/9/12 (my VBAC baby!)

JENNIESJOY
Posts: 5068
2/9/11 6:52 A

This thread has come to my mind a few times recently and I just wanted to add that if you do start him, and it's not working out so well socially or for whatever other reasons, he could do another year before starting 1st grade. My sister is a July birthday and she went into kindergarten as a freshly turned 5 year old. She kinda shut down socially, wouldn't talk to anyone. They actually had her evaluated and was called "selectively mute" -which we kinda joke about now, haha, b/c she can talk- but just didn't! Anyway, so for her social benefit, my parents just had her go to Pre-First after kindergarten. Does your school district have pre-first? That way, if in your gut, you really want to start him- and it sounds like you do-- then you can feel good about sending him and if he needs it, pre-first is kinda your safety net :)

Edited by: JENNIESJOY at: 2/9/2011 (06:59)

LOVEMYBABEES
Posts: 6025
2/8/11 11:33 A

That's the same way I feel about Ezra - He needs more than what I can offer him and Preschool (unless it's paid, which we can't afford)I don't think will be enough for him. I talked to one of his teachers yesterday and asked her if she thought I should hold him back because of what the pedi suggested and she said no. She said he's sharp, he answers questions well, with more than just a yes or no answer, he knows his numbers, letters, shapes and colors. She said the one thing they have to work on a bit is his attention during circle time - he is easily distracted sometimes. But she also said that, that can be worked on for the remaining of the school year.

I know he is young and needs a bit more maturity, but I'm afraid if we hold him back he'll lose interest in learning and school - I don't have the discipline needed to home school him as I thought - we bump heads TOO often and I don't think it'll benefit either of us.

Going over what the pedi said in my head, his biggest concern is how Ezra would react socially, not academically - he doesn't want him to be socially awkward. It has nothing to do with his learning capabilities.

TEESAK
Posts: 5830
2/7/11 10:41 P

Renee', I'm really interested in hearing what you learned in your studies about this.

I think I'm going to have Sam evaluated to start Kindergarten early, actually. I'm not sure if he's socially there yet, but that's what the eval is for. What I want to do is start this homeschooling co-op where he would go two days a week (Monday and Wednesday 8-2) and I would supplement the rest. It's $100 a month and it's serious teaching, so it would actually be cheaper than preschool even WITH the books. Then maybe he could repeat Kindergarten if he needed to the following year in public school OR I could keep him in the co-op for another year and repeat 1st if he needed to. I just think he needs something more than I can give him right now with our stage in life.

But, back to you, I totally agree that you need more than just your pedi's opinion. Someone who's with him everyday like his current teachers would know better.

Sam has Brugada Syndrome, a heart arrhythmia. He had a defibrillator implanted at 11 months old and another surgery to fix the defib Aug 18 this year. Ask me about it sometime.
www.klearlife.blogspot.com

LOVEMYBABEES
Posts: 6025
2/5/11 8:08 P

Thank you for your input Beth.

BETH81392
Posts: 8131
2/5/11 6:47 P

Well I have a Nov birthday and I excelled, but I was definitely socially ready for K and everything else. I would ask his preschool teacher. Ezra is unique and should be judged by his strengths and weaknesses not just because he is a boy.

Abby will prob be 15 when she graduates high school. She is either heading into 1st in the fall, or doing K and then skipping to 2nd grade. Schools vote is the eaerlier mine is the latter. Typically she has associated/best friends with kids 2-3 years older then her so I cannot see that being a problem down the line but we will see.

I think it is a personal change. I see their birthdays as a blessing, since they will be apropriate in K2011 or K2012. I think the decision is completely dependent on who your child is and what you think will be best for them.

LOVEMYBABEES
Posts: 6025
2/4/11 11:42 P

Back when I went to school I think the cut off was even later - Dec 10th or so and I missed it by 1 month, since my b-day is in Jan. Now it's been moved up to the 2nd. I agree that the cut off is set for a reason, and that they wouldn't purposefully enroll children who are not ready - I don't know, just my opinion. If preschool had different levels or age geared material I would probably be more open to holding him back another year. I'm really still on the fence about it.

Renee ~ my child psychology class actually said something similar to what your child dev. class said. What I remember is that it has been proven that children who start school (preschool) at a young(er) age, have a higher probability of graduating HS and graduating college. I know there may be some ups and downs with his age, but that comes with every one, even if you are "top dog" in your class. It really is a very hard decision...I hope to come to a conclusion soon.

Edited by: LOVEMYBABEES at: 2/4/2011 (23:43)

LYNN_ANN
Posts: 5250
2/4/11 6:43 P

Wow, Dec. is a late cut off. Nate used to make our cut off, which was 9/30 (his bday is 9/25), & I struggled on weather to send him or not, just barely making that cut off. But just last year the school district changed the cut off to 9/1 instead, so problem solved- he gets one more year of preschool (which will be 3 total - both my boys will get). Fortunately he won't be repeating anything really (preschool has a 3,4, & 5 yr old program).
The trend around here seems to be to also hold kids (esp. boys) back for the reasons people here & your Pedi. already stated. But I always feel like cutt offs are there for a reason, & if my child fell within the range & seemed ready, I would probably go ahead & send them. I was an August bday & so I guess that made me young compared to some of my classmates, but I honestly can say I never noticed--but I'm a girl, can't speak for a boy's experience.
But that Dec. cut off really does seem late to me, but if that's what everyone or most people follows, then there should other kids younger than him right, with the late Oct., & Nov. bdays right?

Nathaniel Robert Herrera
3 years old
September 25, 2006

Daniel Thomas Herrera
2 year old
November 7, 2007

LOVEMYBABEES
Posts: 6025
2/4/11 4:31 P

Again ladies, thank you for all of your input -everything said makes sense and it would make a difference at some point in his life. I personally started later and was the first one to turn 18, get my driver's licence and so on, but it didn't do anything for me - it actually made me feel uncomfortable always being the oldest - maybe that's why I don't see it as such a huge deal. The part I completely agree is the maturity level needed to cope with school - not the physical size because you could be 20, still in HS and be tiny, but the maturity level might be an issue.

I've spoken to his teachers, and to his speech therapist who deals with young kids, same age as Ezra and she said that he will be well adjusted - and if for whatever reason he doesn't thrive in the environment he could always be held back in Kinder or 1st grade rather than in later years. Of course I don't want him to be held back, but if he is going to be held back I would prefer for it to happen at a place that will reinforce the learning concepts, not at preschool where he's been reviewing the same things for the last 2 years. I need to have a sit down meeting with his teachers in the next few days to see what they have to say about him.

@Jennie - Preschool classes are combined where Ezra attends the 4 and 5 year olds are combined, so not much new curriculum would be emphasised.

STEVENSMOMMY
BabyPoints: 4916
Posts: 1202
2/4/11 12:17 P

I also wanted to add...holding our kids back has A LOT to do with DH's thoughts...he is also an October baby who went early. Elementary was not hard for him...but when other kids turned 16, 18 and 21 he was always the last.

JENNIESJOY
Posts: 5068
2/4/11 12:06 P

When you say repeat preschool again, do you mean he'd be in the same class as now? Doing the same curriculum? That's weird to me. Here, Isaiah is in the 3/4s class and then next year will be in Pre-K- a whole new class etc. Is he is Pre-K now?

In my opinion, I would also wait. This may sound like a silly reason, but right now the focus is on kindergarten- but what about starting high school? Do you really want him to be only 13 turning 14 when he starts his freshman year?- When most of his peers will be well into puberty and he may be only starting? And not just the physical maturity- but the emotional maturity that happens in the delicate time.
All that said, it's definitely something every parent has to have peace about and decide on their own. The reasons I stated may not be enough for you to hold him back- and that's okay! I don't think you'd be making a *wrong* decision if you send him this upcoming fall. I'm just saying I think I would wait. Our cut off is before his b-day so I don't have to choose, so I don't really know what it's like to be in your shoes. But I'm sure it's not an easy decision. Good luck! I'm sure it will all work out whichever way you decide :)

KACSAMAMA
Posts: 3435
2/4/11 8:24 A

Have you talked to his teacher? She has a more complete picture of his school behaviour, motivation than your pedi.

STEVENSMOMMY
BabyPoints: 4916
Posts: 1202
2/3/11 11:26 P

On some accounts, Steven is ready for K. He is already starting to read and spell for example. On the other hand, I don't think he is ready developmentally. I really think he needs an extra year to grow developmentally/behaviorally.

I am honestly thinking of holding Callie back a year too...so she would be 6 when she starts (late July birthday). Like someone else mentioned, I would rather them be ahead then struggle to keep up.

SHAN-DAN-HAN
Posts: 10014
2/3/11 8:03 P

Hannah is doing another year of pre-school next year. Dan and I both would rather she be ahead of the curve than below it. I started school and tested in early, so I was younger than most of the kids in my class.

Plus, she will be going three days next year instead of two days. I think that will help get her ready for a 5 day week. I know she is smart and knows the basics, it's the sitting still and listening for 5 whole days that I am not sure she is ready for yet.

But you know your child best, and need to do what you feel is best as a mom.

*Shannon*

DD- Hannah 10/06: 40 lbs of awesome in a tutu!

First we had each other, then we had you- now we have everything.

LOVEMYBABEES
Posts: 6025
2/3/11 7:23 P

The cut off is Dec 2nd, so he'll be 5 about two months after he starts Kindergarten, but definitely not the youngest one in class - if you go by months. He would/should be moving into Kindergarten with his friends, so it would be hard for him. I understand the perspectives presented, I really do, I just want to do what's best for him. Is a year of repeating preschool (again) going to make that much of a difference to him? I don't even know if the preschool would allow him to return since he's been there 2 years already - guess I should find out.

Thank you ladies

Edited by: LOVEMYBABEES at: 2/3/2011 (19:23)

JACOBYJUNK
Posts: 4675
2/3/11 7:08 P

I actually know of a kindergarten teacher who has a son who turned 5 a day before the deadline (so he would have made it) and she waited until the following year.

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CARYNMB
Posts: 5969
2/3/11 6:16 P

Honestly, I agree with him. Not so much on the social reasoning, but I really do think that it's too soon for our kids to go to kindergarten. They don't turn 5 until October (well I guess some of us have Sept. babies) and most schools have a cut off that they have to be 5 by the time school starts.

Here is my opinion, coming from being a previous Kindergarten teacher. Wait a year, it will be worth the wait. Most of them just aren't ready. A lot of them may be smart enough to go, but they will do so much better just by waiting that one year. I had a little boy that was 4 when he came into my class (I taught overseas and he spoke very little english.) I tested him to see if he was ready, and my recommendation was that he wait. Unfortunately, my recommendation was not taken, and he struggled all year long. I had to fail him! It was awful. From what I heard from his teacher after me, he barely passed the following year.

I think there are a whole lot of reasons to wait... and honestly, it won't be that big a deal to him I'm sure. He will be so far advanced by the time he does get there, that he is going to do so well in school. Kindergarten is such a foundational year, and if they get off to a bad start, it's just downhill from there.

Just my opinion! I know it's hard to wait... It's tough that their birthdays are so close to the start of the school year. Good luck with your decision!

ETA: We are homeschooling, and we plan to do pre-K next year with Carter. We will actually do the Kindergarten work, but not call it Kindergarten. Then the following year we will do it all over again, but actually call it Kindergarten. So if you have him in a preschool, maybe you could do some other things with him at home if you think that what they are doing at the school is too basic for him. Just a thought....

Edited by: CARYNMB at: 2/3/2011 (18:19)

~Caryn~
www.inspiringbirth.com

Carter Jackson 10/19/06
Sydney Nicole 12/11/08
Caleb Asher 9/1/10
Shelby Morgan 2/9/12 (my VBAC baby!)

LOVEMYBABEES
Posts: 6025
2/3/11 5:58 P

Okay, here is my dilemma - went to Ezra's pedi for his physical and for him to fill out the needed paperwork to sign him up for kindergarten in March. I LOVE our pedi, so this is why I'm having such a hard time with this. He basically said that Ezra (or any boy) is too young to start kindergarten at or right before he turns 5 years old. He goes on saying that he'll have a hard time coping with the "popularity" contest kinder is all about. He said that he'll be one of or the smallest/youngest boy in class which in turn will give him a disadvantage. Maturity level is lacking, especially in little boys at this age and they gain nothing really out of the experience. We may be putting him in harms way if anything. He suggests to wait until he's 6 or almost 6 to enroll him into school because that's when he'll be prepared to deal with the stress of competition for the teachers attention and approval. That would mean he either skips a year of school or repeats preschool yet again.

I see some of his points, especially because I KNOW Ezra is not as mature as some kids in his class, but he's grown SO much in the last 2 years of preschool. I can't imagine having him go through yet another year of it and not really learn anything that he hasn't already learned in the past 2 years. I feel it would be a waste of time - his, mine and his teacher's. He needs to be stimulated or he looses interest quickly and repeating the same things over and over for a 3rd years I just see as a complete downfall in "our" plan.

Am I following what "society" tells me to do, or am I doing what I think is best for my child? I thought I was doing what was best for my little boy, but now I'm not sure with what the Pediatrician said. I trust his advice, and I trust that he really wants the best of his patient - am I the one who is pushing Ezra to go to school so early?

Any feedback, opinions, agreements or disagreements are welcomed. I just needed to vent and see if I'm completely wrong in wanting my son to go to kindergarten at such an early age.

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