Oh good luck, Teesa. I used to suck my middle and ring finger (together) on my right hand and I had a certain pillow I would smell (LOL, sounds crazy I know) to fall asleep and I didn't stop until (GASP) I was 11! LOL My parents had to bribe me with a new pair of Nike's (since I never got name brand shoes, that was BIG to an 11 yr old, lol)!
Alexander Dominic
10/12/06 @ 1:41AM
9lbs 1oz
20 3/4inches
Noah Richard
1/17/11 @ 1:50PM
6lbs 9oz - 19in
TEESAK
Posts: 5830
12/3/10 10:12 A
Carolina is that way - it isn't a certain lovely, but any hand towel. She only sucks her thumb when she has it too and it's only in bed. I'm not sure how we're going to break her of the habit, since thumb-sucking is included.
Sam has Brugada Syndrome, a heart arrhythmia. He had a defibrillator implanted at 11 months old and another surgery to fix the defib Aug 18 this year. Ask me about it sometime.
www.klearlife.blogspot.com
DANNI2006
Posts: 8397
12/3/10 8:28 A
Oh yes, Alex still has "blue" his thermal gerber blanket! LOL. Every once in awhile I replace it without him noticing because it gets so icky, but that's his lovey and I don't press the issue of taking it away. He only wants it at night when he sleeps or if he takes a nap, which is random!
What's the worst that happens, when the boys get married we send it to the new wife?! HAHA "sorry dear, my lovey comes with me" too cute!
Alexander Dominic
10/12/06 @ 1:41AM
9lbs 1oz
20 3/4inches
Noah Richard
1/17/11 @ 1:50PM
6lbs 9oz - 19in
JENNIESJOY
Posts: 5068
12/3/10 8:15 A
Yes, Isaiah is much like Zachary, too. For me, it's wondering what is normal behavior for a 4 yr old and what is part of his diagnosis. I wouldn't worry about him still sleeping with a lovie, esp since he doesn't insist on taking it everywhere. Good luck. You are not alone.
BETH81392
Posts: 8131
12/2/10 8:58 P
Ab does everything but the lying. 4 has not been fun, but zero tolerance is going much better. The reason she does not lie is mostly because when she was 2-3 I would tell her her nose was turning blue when she lied...whatever works!
Beth
Profile Shot- Abigail pretending to be a water molecule
"I know of nobody who is purely Autistic or purely neurotypical. Even God had some Autistic moments, which is why the planets all spin."
http://bringingupstinky.blogspot.com
CARYNMB
Posts: 5969
12/2/10 7:36 P
Yes, yes, and yes! Carter is all of those things, except for the being alone part. He actually loves to be alone. But the whining, lying and acting out is driving me bonkers!! I do think it's just partly an age thing. I'm sure there are other factors like sibling jealousy, etc. But it is frustrating...
I feel your pain! I'm nursing right now, so can't write too much more, but wanted to at least respond!
~Caryn~
www.inspiringbirth.com
Carter Jackson 10/19/06
Sydney Nicole 12/11/08
Caleb Asher 9/1/10
Shelby Morgan 2/9/12 (my VBAC baby!)
TEESAK
Posts: 5830
12/2/10 6:35 P
I emailed you the chart I told you I have been using with Sam and Carolina. Some kids don't respond well to it, but Sam is really benefiting from it. He has shown some of the same issues that Zachary is showing - lying, whining, - add to that not eating and we have a decent four year-old on our hands! It's been very difficult.
On the heels of what pp have talked about (spending time with just one at a time):
One thing his pedi told me to do is to spend 15 minutes with each kid alone every day. He said it would be nearly impossible, but I needed to make it happen. I have been finding time here or there to do that - knowing that Sam needs physical touch (it's his love language) or just holding his hand through dinner, a movie, or whenever I can. It seems to be helping too.
The sticker chart is fun for him and he responds appropriately to the Xs too. Carolina just gets excited when we do anything to her chart, so we've had to remind her that Xs are BAD. I think she's getting it now. But the main reason we came up with the chart was for Sam's poor behavior, not Carolina's. I had to do one for her just because she wanted one so badly.
I hope it helps. I have had to crack down on both of the kids for about a week or so - just to get all the grandparent-ization out of their system. But I think a lot of it is four year-old behavior. I have heard from Beth that Abigail is acting similarly and Sam's best friend Trathan (6 days younger) is also doing the same things. It's interesting...
Let us know how it goes!
Sam has Brugada Syndrome, a heart arrhythmia. He had a defibrillator implanted at 11 months old and another surgery to fix the defib Aug 18 this year. Ask me about it sometime.
www.klearlife.blogspot.com
JACOBYJUNK
Posts: 4675
12/2/10 3:10 P
I don't think it's a preschool thing for us because he just started preschool this week. And he has always went to a structured day care. I was laid off in October so that might be why he is acting out towards me recently... we are together A LOT... but there is nothing I can do about that until I get a job or my hours pick up at work.
I'm not sure if I like the high school run preschool or not yet. I don't think he'll learn a lot but I like that he gets to converse with other kids his age. But high schoolers use words like stupid and dumb and those words are a no go in our house... so we shall see...
I think with Zachary is is just testing his bounds and started sassing back. hmm...
Edited by: JACOBYJUNK at: 12/2/2010 (16:04)
Zacharys montage http://tinyurl.com/32ralh
JACOBYJUNK
Posts: 4675
12/2/10 2:24 P
He does go to daycare and just started a high school run preschool. (only 6 weeks) but he is well behaved there. When I come to pick him up he starts acting like a goof though...
Zacharys montage http://tinyurl.com/32ralh
DANNI2006
Posts: 8397
12/2/10 1:52 P
Does Zachary go to pre school yet? Just curious if he's high maintenance there as well.
Also, as easy as a child that Alex is; 4 has definitely been a challange!
Thankfully, he is great about entertaining himself for awhile and playing alone. I would be pulling my hair out if I had to entertain 24/7! Do you do play dates or is he around other kids his age?
Parenting stinks sometimes! LOL
Edited by: DANNI2006 at: 12/2/2010 (13:53)
Alexander Dominic
10/12/06 @ 1:41AM
9lbs 1oz
20 3/4inches
Noah Richard
1/17/11 @ 1:50PM
6lbs 9oz - 19in
JACOBYJUNK
Posts: 4675
12/2/10 11:50 A
Something my husband and I have started is every Tuesday I will hang out with just one kid and Chris will hang out with the other and rotate weeks. This way each kid will get one on one attention from each of us which I think they really need. But we Can't do it every night ebcause they do need to be together sometimes :) But hopefully this will help Zachary out
Zacharys montage http://tinyurl.com/32ralh
JACOBYJUNK
Posts: 4675
12/2/10 11:48 A
When Zachary lies he usually tells me the truth too. He sulks over with his head down and tells me. And he does not get punished because usually what he's lying about isn't worth punishing. The lie I would punish but I don't for the same reason as you Jess... he told me the truth. Now if I saw something lets say I SAW him hit Madelyn and he told me over and over he didn't then I would give him a time out for hitting and make him stay in it longer for lying about it. (this has not happened just an example)
The person I actually feel the worst for is Madelyn. When I get time just with her it is amazing. She is so funny and smart and knows so many things that it's hard to see all of that when Zachary is around. We look at a lot of those i-spy books and when I look at them with both kids Zachary is always jumping in Madelyns way pointing things out but when it's just me and Madelyn she can find everything too. I feel like she gets pushed aside and it's not fair just because Zachary is high maintenance and she's more laid back (now haha!).
Zacharys montage http://tinyurl.com/32ralh
JESSLYNNLEWIS
Posts: 3101
12/2/10 11:32 A
Well, some days at our house, Grant is the poster child for abstinence. Oh my, he's tough... and we are having a lot of the same issues you are, only it sounds like ours are to a much worse degree..
Grant wont listen to anything. I'm jealous you can get Zachary to do stuff with only asking him 3 or 4 times! Seriously, i am! Grant does what HE wants, and it doesn't matter what I do, nothing is going to change that. No punishment, no rewards, no coaxing... if it's not what HE wants, he's not doing it. Punishment doesn't phase him either for not listening. He knows what is coming, but he CAN NOT for the life of him resist the urge to stand his ground and be disobedient.
Grant also does the lies... but not very badly. We've had the talks and explanations about lies and why we dont' do it. Most of the time he will tell the truth, unless he thinks he may get in trouble. 99% of the time I know he's lying if he tries it though, and I always get down on eye level with him and tell him "now remember, sometimes it isn't easy to tell the truth, but you will always get in WAY MORE trouble for lying! If you tell the truth, you wont get in nearly as much trouble". Then he will usually fess up and tell the truth. If he doesn't, and I still know he's lying, I just kinda let it go with him and leave him with "Just remember what I said. You get in more trouble when you lie about something than if you just tell the truth. We don't tell lies in this house" and i go on about my business... he almost ALWAYS comes and tells me the truth and says he's sorry he lied within a minute or two. I don't know if the motivation in him confessing is guilt because he knows he was wrong, or if it is satisfaction from wanting me to know that he pulled one on me (even though I really knew the truth) - but regardless he says he is sorry and tells the truth. When he does those things, I never punish him for what he's done. We will talk about it and discuss why it's bad, but I don't enforce any punishment because I want to really drive home the importance of him being truthful and that he doesn't get in so much trouble when he just tells the truth. Does that make sense?
As for the Whining.... got that too. Over everything. Grant constantly wants to play 'baby" and make me do things for him and he talks in baby talk (which drives me nuts) and he wants me to fuss over him and baby him and stuff. I want him to understand that I DO listen to what he wants, and that his needs are important to me too... so I normally will respond with "Mommy is super busy and I need to do ___. but I will take a quick break and play with you for just a minute, but it can't be long, and YOU have to agree not to whine when I have to get back to work. Then maybe we can play some more later. Deal?" and he will say deal... so I comply and give him what he wants for a few minutes... usually 5 or less, then I tell him it is time for me to get back to work. If he starts to whine, I remind him of how I took a break JUST FOR HIM and he made a deal not to whine... and that usually nips it.
Our biggest issue is with disobedience... he will destroy the house and refuses to clean up ANY of it. if he wants a snack or a drink, he wants it NOW and someone else has to do it for him, he wont do anything for himself.
yeah I laughed at the medicine thing too! Not in front of him of course but it was smart of him. Not the right thing to do but I was surprised he thought of that.
Oh Shannon I would love if Zachary would play alone! He NEVER has! Madelyn does but he just doesn't ne needs someone to be by him all the time. It's exhausting. I love playing with him but I'd like 30 minutes to an hour a day to get my stuff done too! And I just can't.
Hmm I'll have to look up lying I guess. It seems to me that he understand it because he explains it to me when I ask him what lying is but maybe he doesn't unserstand the trust issue yet... hmm...
and thanks for everything ladies!
Edited by: JACOBYJUNK at: 12/2/2010 (11:21)
Zacharys montage http://tinyurl.com/32ralh
SHAN-DAN-HAN
Posts: 10014
12/2/10 11:08 A
Yeah, Hannah whines and tells me that I should be cleaning her room. She wants to be waited on hand and foot. I think it's normal 4 year old behavior. As is lying. I read somewhere that at this age that can't really understand why lying is wrong. They just know that it helps protect them.
I don't have a problem with Han playing by herself. In fact, she has booted us out her room on ocassions because she wanted to be alnoe. But every kid is different.
*Shannon*
DD- Hannah 10/06: 40 lbs of awesome in a tutu!
First we had each other, then we had you- now we have everything.
TARENMAE
Posts: 2019
12/2/10 11:04 A
Sounds just like our house! The whining really gets to me! I tell Grace that she can go to her room to whine because no one else wants to hear it. The kids fight over everything, too. We do time-outs on the steps many, many times a day. I think this is just another stage, like so many others.
Hang in there!
~ Taren ~
Grace Marie born on 10-17-06
8lb 9oz and 19.5 inches
Henry Thomas born 4-8-08
8lbs 7ozs and 19 inches
JACOBYJUNK
Posts: 4675
12/2/10 10:53 A
ok so I have several questions for you guys :) Zachary has been challenging over the past month and I'm wondering if this is just him or if others have been experiencing these things too. I've never had a 4 year old before so maybe this is just how they are... YIKES!!! (and yes I know every kid is different...)
Acting out Zachary has been acting out lately. Not listening real well. I have to tell him 3 or 4 times to do something and then he is SUPER slow at it... or he wants me to help him with it even though he is perfectly capable of doing it himself (getting dressed, turning on the light, covering himself up) Stuff like that that he has been doing himself forever. Does anyone have good advice on how to get them to listen the FIRST time?
Whining He has been SUPER whiny lately. This morning I was helping him brush his teeth (yes something he can do himself but just needed me to help him with...) and he need to spit. So he said "Mommy I need to spit" Mommy and Spit both had three syllables. SO whiny! I can not stand the whining. Are your kids so whiny too? I feel like he should be old enough not to whine so often?? (I've actually banned Cailou because he is SO whiny! not that we watched that show often but man that kid whines!)
Lying Zachary knows what lying is and knows he shouldn't do it. I have caught him in several lies. Not big lies but lies non the less. Like he goes to the bathroom and then tells me he didn't go just because he doesn't want to wash his hands. I tell him even if we tried going to the bathroom and didn't go we still need to wash our hand. And then he washes his hands. So he knows he'll have to wash his hands anyways why lie about it?? His biggest lie was a few weeks ago he was on antibiotics that tasted really gross. So I gave him his medicine and he said he had to go to the bathroom. So he went in with the medicine cup and came out with an empty cup. Well he dumped it down the drain and said he drank it. (he didn't rinse out the sink... haha) So this lie took some thinking to do. I then talked to him all about lying and why it's wrong and hurts people and makes people not trust you blah, blah blah and made him take a new cup of medicine. Does anyone elses kids lie? I mean this isn't daily or anything but a few times is more than enough for me!
Being alone Zachary CAN'T be alone! He hates it. He's always been high maintenance that way but I always thought he'd grow out of it. Especially at this age! But if the kids are awake I need to be by him playing or cuddling or whatever. Anyone else like that? I can barely bring the laundry to the basement without him following me. And I don't mind him helping me with things but somethings he can play alone or play with Madelyn.
Also do your kids still have a blankie or animal? Zachary has a blankie and puppy he LOVES! Can't sleep without. We don't take them places but he would if we let him...
I'm wondering if the acting out and not listening is because Madelyn is starting to talk really well. She talks in sentences now so we can actually have conversations with her and I think Zachary isn't liking that we can understand her and cater to her needs too. (we always catered to her needs but now she can actaually tell us what she wants)
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