BabyPoints: 3107
Posts: 670
11/10/09 8:35 A

I try to gauge my reaction based on who the speaker is.

If it is someone who is essentially a stranger or has no business talking to me about my child, then I do what some of the other posters did and come back with some sort of a "zinger" to shut them up and put them in their place! Admittedly it is not very mature but whatever, we can't be mature 100% of the time now can we? :)

If it is a close relative or friend whose opinion I normally respect (and possibly have asked advice from in the past) then I just grin and bear it. I'll try to mentally distance myself from the comment by saying in my head "If she can make me mad, then she controls me. No one controls me but me." Usually focusing like that helps me to avoid getting too irate.

Of course if the relaxation technique doesn't work, I usually resort to a rude and biting quip again! LOL

"Well the next time I am baby sitting your child, I'll be sure to do that."
"Are you trying to win a contest on who can say the meanest thing to the new mother?"
"How many kids do you have again?"
"I'm sorry your experience was so horrible. It may have something to do with you having such a negative attitude."

Posts: 294
11/9/09 6:56 P

Is she giving unwanted advide or saying things like, "Well, I wouldn't have done that." yeh know...

I worked with people like that and they were very annoying. I blew them off. I just had to tell myself they're unhappy and they are taking it out on me.

One time it got to me though, and here was the scenario:

Me:"I don't like to dress my daughter up in tons of clothes while we're in the house."

Coworker: "Oh my, she must be soo cold. I know I'm cold and I'm 54! My grandkids get cold in this weather"

Me: "Oh wow your house must be freezing! My goodness if they're cold you should really dress them warmer!"

I basically did it back to her. Might not be the most mature way but it made me feel better

Posts: 147
11/9/09 4:47 P

I had a manager for a short while amd she was trying to concive but she was so bitter about me being preg. I was hungry and my coworker was joking about cravings and she almost bit both of our heads off about how I can't have cravings already.
I have cravings when I am not preg lol
I just ignore negative people.
Good luck!

Posts: 6824
11/9/09 1:50 P

I would do like everyone has said ignore it and try not to talk to her about things like that. I have found that people love trying to give advice to new moms and it is great and all but when it is not asked for it gets rather annoying.

Posts: 1
11/9/09 12:39 P

Are any of these people parents themselves? I just saw someone on the weekend that was doing the same thing. I am only one month along, and she has a one year old and told me what I should do, and what I shouldn't do, yadda yadda yadda. Next time, I will just say to her that I am glad that she has found strategies that work for her, not mentioning anything about myself, so hopefully she takes the hint. Try that - maybe that will work.

Posts: 72
11/4/09 2:55 P

talk to people who's opinion you actually value and take those to heart, a lot of people (especially those with no kids??) seem to have the most opinions when it comes to babies

talk to your husband, girlfriends, people on this site and this will help you

or you could always start talking negative about something that she is very passionate about!!

Posts: 6987
11/3/09 3:39 P

Hi There,

Try your best to surround yourself with positive people. There is a lot of things to worry about, and it is easy to become overwhelmed if people are constantly reminding you :)

Not that you should put your head in the sand, but daily harping on the negative is not productive.

Celebrate the positives and keep conversations polite, but very short, with people who bring you down.


Rachel

Posts: 133
11/3/09 9:17 A

If she only make comments after you say something about the baby then stop talking about the baby around her. If she then starts making unsolicited comments then just say "Gee , it must take a lot of mental energy to be that negative all the time. How DO you do it?"

Posts: 1172
11/2/09 10:14 P

Well I have coworkers who make negative comments to me all the time because I am paranoid... I am always being told that I am to overprotective , that I should do this or that. I get so so mad. Now I have learned to not tell them a whole lot about my personal life or my DD. Its hard since I only work a few days .. when I go to work thats my only time for adult conversation. Just the other day I was saying that I am glad I decided to wait till next year to enroll DD in preschool. If I had enrolled her this year I would be nervous reck about the flu ,,, not only for her sake but for my own since I am haveing a cesection in 8 weeks. I was told that she needs to be exposed . It would be better for her to be there.. They always have something to say that I am doing something wrong. In my experiece it dosent pay to argue because you will only get mader . My advice ... dont talk to them about your personal life. And if something does come up my favorite line to say is... well good thing Im her mom and not you.. it usually shuts them up everytime. LOL

Posts: 18
11/2/09 6:50 P

How can I deal with a co-worker who is always makeing negative and paranoid comments?? Also she waits till Ive said something about my baby to make these comments. Maybe she thinks she is helping by giving free advice but it makes me angry!!!! Any help before I loose my mind and tell her the un-rated version of how I feel???